Twelve Things I Love to Remember

It rolls around every month-the twelfth-that glaring reminder that on this day “x” number of months ago, I woke to the news Dominic was never coming home again.

This month is 28.  Twenty-eight months-more than 28 moon cycles-over two years.

I don’t cry all day on this monthly reminder anymore-although I used to. And I have tried various ways to redeem it.

This month I decided to share twelve things I love to remember about Dominic. Maybe some things even his good friends didn’t know:

  • Dominic HATED to lose.  When he was a little boy we participated in a monthly skate session at a local roller rink.  At the end of the skating time (to encourage kids to quickly take off and return their skates) there were foot races broken up by age and gender. Poor Dom-he was built like a gymnast not a runner and he. just. couldn’t. win.  EVERY TIME, he’d come stomping off the floor, nearly in tears because he didn’t win.  So many things came easily to him but this didn’t and it frustrated him.
  • Dominic finished his undergraduate degree in three and a half years-double major-graduated Magna Cum Laude and delivered the undergraduate address for his graduation ceremony. I love that he was so goal-oriented and persevered even when it was really hard.

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  • He could subsist on rice and broiled chicken breasts when he was trying to work on muscle definition (he rarely missed a day at the gym) but when he was a little kid he hid candy along the side of his mattress.  He remained a sucker for a good sugar binge, especially when stressed during finals.
  • Dominic was scared of needles.  His PCP finally shamed him into getting a needed tetanus shot but he hated it!

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  • He had a weakness for puppies, kittens and kids.

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  • If it had strings, Dominic could play it-mandolin, guitar, bass, banjo.  And if you could coax rhythm out of it, he could make it sing.  Never silent, never still-always making some kind of music. Boy do I miss that!

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  • Dominic never took “no” for an answer.  He would doggedly pursue anything and anyone if he thought it was a valid case or course of action.  He had an entire university policy overturned because he was able to demonstrate to the administration that its application was faulty.  That’s part of what would have made him a great lawyer…
  • He was an adrenaline junkie.  He was the one that wanted to jump out of an airplane so he did.

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  • As an undergraduate he had a part-time job as a  lifeguard at the student recreation center.  He loved the job  but hated swimming. He was an amazing athlete.
  • Although he was an excellent orator, he didn’t really talk until he was almost three and had a speech impediment until he was into second grade.  You would never have known it if you met him as an older teen or adult.

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  • Oh!  Dominic was stubborn!  I remember one afternoon when I had given an assignment to draw a leaf in his nature journal.  He sat, without drawing, for over an hour because he insisted he couldn’t draw, wouldn’t draw and didn’t see the point in the assignment.  I finally caved and said he could trace the leaf.  I still have that picture as a testimony to his mulish side.
  • Dominic had a great sense of humor and nothing was out of bounds if it made someone laugh.

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I am so thankful God made me his mama.  I love every memory I have.  I really wish we could make more…

 

 

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

6 thoughts on “Twelve Things I Love to Remember”

  1. I love this! Seth didn’t talk when he was a baby and at 18 months we had a specialist come to the house and Seth learned sign language. No one would ever believe it, when he did start talking, he never stopped. He never got his degree in art, but that’s ok because Seth lived life big in his 23 yea s of life❤️

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  2. I loved the l2 things to remember by you of precious Dominic. One thing I remember so vividly was he wanted to finish what he started. When he was about 4 maybe almost 5, I had him at my home in Birmingham next door to yours and I was cooking something. Well, he wanted to make some cookies. I fixed him up a pot and some cocoa and water and told him to stir his pot. When he finished, I told him that was good. I never counted on his wanted to bake them at that point. Oh boy. Needless to sa y they were kinda messy. I immediately went to the store with him and got one of those cookie dough already made up rolls and brought it home, and let him mush it down and with a little help from me, we cooked it. Uneven for sure, after I let him mush it some. We ate them, yummy. So many precious memories that money could never buy. How blessed I was to have such a loving caring and special young man as my grandson and Grandpapa feels the same. I do not think a day goes by that his name is not mentioned with love by us to others or to each other. I love you my daughter. You are the cream of the crop. Mama

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  3. Thank you Melanie–we share this anniversary date, although this is only the third month for me. I have been overcome with painful tears each month so far, but reading your blog first thing this morning brought me some comfort. It is helpful to know that there are others who truly understand what we are going through. This past weekend FSU awarded our beautiful daughter a posthumous degree which she worked so diligently for and made us so proud, but had me reeling for days realizing all the things we will not have the opportunity to experience with her In this world. Reading your memories this morning helped me to pause and think about all these things about my beautiful, kind and compassionate Jordan before we visit her this afternoon. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and tear with us.

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    1. Lorraine, I understand completely-we were also awarded Dominic’s law degree posthumously and it created the same kinds of mixed feelings in my heart. I thought I would proudly display it but have found it is still too painful to look at on a regular basis. And three months is so very fresh! I am not always able to think about Dom’s life instead of his leaving, but I’m trying. It takes time, a brave willingness to face the hard memories, the overwhelming feelings and constant reminders and a face set like flint toward the Truth of the promises of God in Christ to make it even a single day. May the Lord give you the strength you need, may He overwhelm your heart with His love, grace and mercy and may He bring sweet memories even as you miss you precious daughter.

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