Just a couple of days before Dominic left us, I and another one of my kids had a fuss.
He was frustrated and stressed and I was vulnerable and stressed and a few stray words ended up hurting my feelings.
I said, “I can’t talk anymore now”, and hung up the phone in tears.
He was sorry and I was sorry and we immediately exchanged texts and let the feelings cool so we could resume our conversation the next day.
He sent me flowers.
They were still beautiful when he came home to bury his brother.
Our family observes a rule: Don’t part in the heat of anger.
We may not be over our pain and the reason for the dispute may be legitimate, but NOTHING trumps relationship.
I am so very thankful for that rule. Because one burden I don’t have to carry is that I might have left Dominic wondering if everything was OK between us.
So I say to you:
- Speak your peace.
- Say you’re sorry.
- Move TOWARD the people you love and not away from them.
I pray every time I hear a siren that the person they are going to rescue will be alright. I pray that the family that loves that person will get another chance. I pray that the call that’s made is, “Come to the hospital to see me” and not “Come to the morgue”.
But you never know-you have NO guarantee that the last time you see or speak to someone you care about won’t be the LAST time.
And then you cannot undo the horror of regret that they might have left this world wondering if you loved them.
“I love you.”
“I don’t want to stay angry with you. Please forgive me.”
Say it loud, say it often, say it NOW.