International Bereaved Mother’s Day

International Bereaved Mother’s Day is observed the Sunday before Mother’s Day in the United States.  This year it’s tomorrow, May 3, 2020.

I didn’t even know such a day existed until I was a mom that needed it.

For those of us who have children in heaven, setting aside a day to acknowledge that unique mother/child relationship is helpful.

Traditional Mother’s Day is meant to be a time of celebration.  A day when children send cards or flowers or give gifts to honor their mom and let her know that years spent pouring into their lives are appreciated.

Lots of church pews and restaurant tables are filled with family as children come home to be with mom.

But Dominic can’t come home.

That makes Mother’s Day complicated for me.  

It means that while I am thrilled to spend it with the children who can make it home, there is always a tinge of sadness to the celebration.  And I hate that.  Because they deserve a whole-hearted mama. 

So I’m thankful this other day exists. Thankful for a day when I can think about and speak about and embrace the child that won’t be with me next weekend.

Because Dominic is STILL my son.  He is still very much a part of my heart.  And I need to be able to speak that aloud for others to hear.  

Some mamas will be drawing or painting hearts on their hands and writing their missing child’s name inside as a beautiful outward testimony to an inward reality.  Every day we carry our missing child in our hearts.  

international bereaved mothers heart brave and courageous

So if you know a bereaved mama, give her a hug tomorrow.  

Make time and give space for her to share.  

And then listen, love and lift her up.  

still choose you

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

38 thoughts on “International Bereaved Mother’s Day”

  1. my son died may 3 2017 This year was/is especially hard for me When I realized today was also Bereaved Mother’s Day I felt a sense of calmness as if I felt my son arms wrapped around me letting me know it is okay….. I know he is here with me every day because every day something shows itself to me when i least expect it, to let me know without a doubt he is here… with me. This morning a work truck driven by my son when he was alive drove past my window as i was coming down the stairs as i was about to start the day. That truck belongs at the international airport about 10 miles away……not on a local street. I am so so grateful for these little nudges from heaven.

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  2. My son Elijaah was Murdered March 3rd 1 week before his 19th birthday March 11th instead of a birthday party I had his celebration of Life service aka funeral , I choose to hold onto and celebrate his life not death. I thank God for the 19 beautiful years I had with him, my daughter and I have learned to take this day by day our Faith and trust in Jesus has carried us thru with such a peace wirds can’t explain. Thank You for this we bless all you mothers that have known the loss of a child. May the peace of God fill your hearts with great understanding. Love and hugs Mellisa Bonilla

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    1. I am so, so sorry dear heart! It is unbearable to carry this pain alone. May you feel the Father’s loving arms around you and may He overwhelm your broken heart with His grace and mercy. ❤

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  3. A friend, who is also a bereaved mother, shared this. Like you, I never knew this day existed, until now. And last Wednesday I was initiated into this very sad society. Yesterday, May 5, we celebrated the life of my son, a 32 year old husband and father of two, one of whom is due 5 weeks after his daddy’s death. I greatly agree with the comment that our other children deserve a “whole hearted” mother. I will never stop missing David and hope I never shortchange my other two sons. Through tall, I will trust in my Saviour and know that He will sustain me. And I will allow myself days to grieve my baby, whether it is May 5 or some other day but it is lovely to know that there is a day to encourage others to remember and love on those of us who have outlived a child. May God continue to grant His grace and peace to each of us.

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    1. This will be my first Mother’s Day without my oldest son Austin! I have dreaded Mother’s Day and every other holiday and birthday that has rolled around. He was so amazing and had a smile that lit up a room. I will celebrate being his Mama on this day and definitely have a blue heart on my hand.

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    2. Its only been 7 agonizing weeks since our 10 year old son – Ashley suddenly and totally unexpectedly passed away – 16/03/2019. This day has changed our lives forever…. We miss you terribly and life seems so empty without your beautiful smile. Love you forever and like I used to say every day: Mummy loves you All the way to the moon and back.

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  4. Hugs to all ❤️ Lost my Mom when I was 15 (47 yrs ago) never cared much for this day since. My one and only child died 8/30/14. Now I really dislike this holiday 😪

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    1. Oh, I am so very sorry. What a terribly heavy burden to bear. Praying God floods your hurting heart with His love, mercy and grace especially on Mother’s Day.

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  5. May 15, 2005 is the day my son Charlie left this earth. He is with Jesus and he is my Guardian angel. I miss him very much and I know I will see him again. Love you, mom

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    1. It is very painful to miss our child. And Mother’s Day makes his absence so obvious. What should be a day of celebration is one more reminder our family circle is broken. May God shower you with love, grace and mercy and give you strength. ❤

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  6. My son was born at 28 weeks and lived 19 days. He would have been 39 on 3/5. He is with his Heavenly Father.😇 Miss him and so do his 3 younger sisters!

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    1. Of course you miss him! Our hearts wrap around our child as soon as we know they exist in our womb. I am so very sorry for your pain and your loss. ❤

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  7. We wanted four children. I was very blessed to have finally conceived after two years of trying. We had a beautiful son on September 21,1975. When our son was two we tried again and again, right up until our son was ten….no more children. Our son was a very huge gift from GOD.
    We lost him May 10, 2013, day before Mothers Day💔💔
    I hate when people say Happy Mothers Day to me…there is nothing happy about it anymore for me. Yes, I will always be a mother to a child but now my child is gone and for me there is nothing happy in a day that should be celebrated with that child because of that child. Not like I have other children😓😓😓😓💔💔💔💔

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    1. Shirley, I am sorry that your heart bears this heavy burden. Mother’s Day is hard for any mama who has lost a child and you have lost your one and only. I wish I could give you a hug. Praying that God gives you strength for each new day and especially on those days that are particularly hard to bear.

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  8. It’s been 29 years since our Daughter Kylie was stillborn at 37 weeks. On that day she became our “Forever Baby”. She has been a guardian angel for her surviving twin brother Kevin and younger sister Kaitlyn.

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  9. My first child Kody, his birthday was on 5/4/94., so happy celebrating my first Mother’S Day that year. On Oct 9th, ’94, he died at daycare overnight. Something that could have been prevented. 22.5 yrs later, my heart still misses our Little Big Guy. Thank you God for blessing us with an amazing daughter 13 months to the day he left us. Always missed, never forgotten. ❤

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  10. This will be the 12th Mother’s Day since my son Brandon died of cancer at 22. The last card he gave me was a Mother’s Day card 4 months before he died.

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    1. I am so so sorry. My 33 year old son just died January 5, 2017 after a horrific 69 day battle with advanced stomach cancer. Just came up out of the blue with no family history or any symptoms. We are all traumatized. Cancer is a horrible disease!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. My Sammy Angel was stillborn at 27 weeks. I miss him so much and now he just got to meet his Daddy in heaven in Dec. I’m so jealous and sad and lonely.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. 39 years ago my first son became a angel at 6 months old, my youngest son just became a angel at the age of 23 years 9 months on 2/11/2017…I still have 3 sons here with me on earth but still not looking forward to mothers day as it is always so close to the birthday of my recent son I just lost, we always celebrated them together.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Hmm tomorrow my Son Johnny’s oldest daughter will graduate high school. I’m a hot mess today.
    I hate there is such a day and I hate there is several of us feeling this pain.

    Liked by 3 people

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