I have tried blogging at various times through the years and always given up after a few posts. My life was full and I found that in a few weeks or months I didn’t really have all that much to say.
It’s different this time-I have been writing every day for almost 20 months and seem to always have at least a sentence or two that wants to burst forth from my keyboard.
I think pain births words.
But one thing I never want to forget is that although Dominic is gone from my sight-my other three children are not. I still have 75 percent of my children with me.
I do not take that for granted.
They are each a successful and highly-functioning adult in their own right. It would be easy to run from a broken family and run toward a life that didn’t include daily reminders that their mama cries often and is not nearly the woman she once was.
But they don’t.
Instead they check on me, love me and encourage me with text messages and Facebook memes and silly photos. They listen when I need to download a pile of frustration and disappointment.
They help me remember that life is still happening, even when I wish (in some ways) it wasn’t.
When each one of my children was born I received him or her as a gift from God. I could not imagine there would be a day when I would treasure them more than I did on that day.
But I do.
I miss Dominic, because he was a gift from God too.
But I will be forever thankful that, at least for now, I have Fiona, James Michael and Julian.
Forced to give one child back, I will never, ever, take the ones I have left for granted.