Mind the Gap

My youngest son worked hard to retrieve some precious digital photos from an old laptop.

Being very kind, he didn’t tell me that we might have lost them until he was certain he had figured out a way to get them back.

So he and I had a trip down memory lane the other evening.

It was a bumpy ride.

Because for every sweet remembrance there was an equally painful realization that Dominic would never again be lined up alongside the rest of us in family pictures.

The British have a saying, “mind the gap” used to warn rail passengers to pay attention to the space between the train door and the platform.  It’s a dangerous opening that one must step over to avoid tripping, or worse.

I was reminded of that when I looked at those old pictures-my children are stair steps-averaging two years apart in age.

But now there will always be a gap between my second and fourth child-a space that threatens to undo me every time we line up for a picture.

I cannot forget that Dominic SHOULD be there.  I will never, ever be OK with the fact that he is missing.

To be honest, I miss him most when the rest of us are all together.  The space where he should be is highlighted because all the others are filled in.

No one else may notice, but I have to step carefully to keep from falling into a dark hole.

Mind the gap.

Be careful.

Don’t fall.

us at matts sunscreen

 

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

4 thoughts on “Mind the Gap”

  1. It is hard looking back !! Our three children were 1 and 1/2 years apart. SO many of our pictures have all three of them together. But I am just so very glad I have pictures to look at!!! I know it’s too hard and emotional for some folks to look at pictures of their lost loved ones but for me it’s just the opposite! I love looking at pictures so much!! Thanks for sharing this today Melanie!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well said. There is that “gap” of despair waiting to trip is up. Of course some days are harder than others.. but I am mindful of that gap. With the 4 th coming up and extended family coming over.. I want to enjoy them. Knowing once they leave I will have time to mourn and shed those tears.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is the weekend we open my son’s computer 4.5 years have passed. Pray I can retrieve the info. I have been so scared falling down that hole it terrifies me. I then have to clean his bed room. It is too painful. Thank you for leading the way. Prayers to you and your family.

    Liked by 2 people

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