I’ve always been quick to volunteer.
Often the “yes” flies out of my lips before my brain has engaged.
That lands me in all kinds of trouble.
But I’m trying to learn to bite my tongue until I can take stock of just how taking on another responsibility may push me over the edge.
I’m walking on a razor thin rim around the pit of despair-especially this time of year and it doesn’t take much for me to fall in.
I know that other people think, “Well it’s been nearly five years!” And I understand that to them, it seems like plenty of time to get my act together, to figure out how to live with child loss, to grow strong enough to shoulder whatever burden they think I have left and just get on with life.
But what they don’t understand is that this journey requires constant adjustments, has unending and new challenges and truly is uphill all the way.
There’s no coasting-it’s ALL hard.
Think for a minute how overwhelmed you are with all the activity, demands for baked goods, invitations, shopping, cooking, visiting, managing family responsibilities, hectic schedules and every thing else that the holidays entail.
Now multiply that times one hundred or a thousand.
That’s what it feels like for me and other wounded hearts trying to juggle ongoing pain and the holidays.
I want to participate. I want to be the old me that could say “yes” to every request. But I’m not that person anymore.
I will do what I can do.
I will say “no” to what I can’t do.
And I won’t feel guilty for preserving my energy and my sanity.
When coping with difficult disappointment or stress, it’s wise to let go of what you really, truly don’t need. Give some of your responsibilities, if you can, to someone else. Delegate what someone else can do. Say ‘no’ to new assignments or projects that aren’t absolutely necessary, and again, don’t feel bad about it. Don’t only accept help, ask for it — and be specific.
After all, when the storm has passed and you’re feeling stronger, you’ll be able to pick up those responsibilities again.
~Steven Earp, Storms of Life