It may seem like the easiest way to get an inside scoop on how I’m REALLY doing-but don’t do it.
Please don’t ask my kids how I’m doing.
Respect the fact that they have their own grief burden. Respect family privacy and understand you are putting them in an impossible position.
If you want to know-to REALLY know-how I’m doing, ask me.
Life for us is no different than life for you except every decision, every event, every single thing requires more effort and energy because we carry the additional burden of death and loss.
It’s easy to assume children and young people-even adults in their 20’s and 30’s-are somehow more resilient than they really might be.
They are often in seasons of activity that serve as cover for deeper, more difficult feelings. Many beautiful celebrations typically mark these years. Graduations, weddings, births are wonderful! But they are complicated for grieving siblings as well as grieving parents.
So be a friend to my kids. Love them. Celebrate them.
And please, please, please treat them as fellow grievers and not simply bystanders to their parents’ grief.
If you want to know about me, just ask.