Before Dominic ran ahead to Heaven I would not have described myself as “anxious”.
Of course I had my moments, but anxiety ,panic or worry was not really something I experienced on a regular basis.
That’s changed.
Now I sometimes have to close my eyes when a family member is driving in traffic. I clench my fists when in a crowd. I can’t concentrate if too many people are talking at once and I cannot navigate unfamiliar roads while the radio is blaring.
Dominic’s sudden death destroyed my sense of safety and control.
If my son could be healthy and alive one moment and dead the next, anything could happen.
It doesn’t matter if you agree with me or not, the anxiety I experience is very real and often debilitating.
What makes it worse is when friends and family minimize my feelings, mock my fear or dismiss it as foolish and stupid.
What helps is when friends and family choose to acknowledge my feelings and commit to compassionate companionship while I work through them.
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thelifeididntchoose 
My anxiety is off the charts. I fall apart and can’t breathe, I clench my fists and I am surprised I have any teeth left. So far I have not found anything to relieve my anxiety that has helped long enough to see the light at the end of this tunnel so your words always encourage me. My friends and family it is a switch that I can turn off. Maybe one day I might find some peace.
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anxiety and PTS symptoms still after 4 years. my Lydia took her life 4 years ago. life is a nightmare now that I cant wake up from
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Like you, some of the things that caused high anxiety in the early days aren’t as hard anymore. New things are also still challenging for me. I like to know “who, what, when, where and how” before I go to anything I’m unfamiliar with. Too much noise, too much traffic or too many people produce the most anxiety.
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So true! Your words describe my experience. After my daughters suicide, life as I knew it was gone forever.
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I can say that my anxiety has dropped off a good sum. I did have it some before grief from my health problems. But it went sky high after Amanda’s death. I wrote a blog titled, my anxieties have anxieties. About this problem. But I still have it to a much lesser degree. Doing something new or going some place unfamiliar makes it increase as like you have experienced it. Even going to the doctor’s office can make me feel anxious. Beforehand, I always felt comfortable about going, not so much anymore. I’m getting better at it, but it does take some work. Hugs.
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