There’s all kinds of grateful.
There’s the receiving line, “I’m so glad you came” grateful.
There’s the ordinary, everyday “I’m thankful I have food, clothes a roof over my head” grateful.
And then there is the “I am about to burst because there is no way to contain my overwhelming thankfulness” grateful.
I’ll admit, this side of sending a child ahead of me to Heaven, there are days when even though I know I SHOULD still be grateful, I’m really not.
Then there are days when I realize how very many blessings are still coming my way.
They don’t balance any cosmic scales. They don’t undo my sorrow at Dominic’s absence. But they do help my heart hold on. They do help me find light in the darkness. They do help me know that God is still working and hasn’t abandoned me.
My earthbound children are chief among these blessings.
I am utterly amazed that as often forgotten grievers, each one is finding his or her own way through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. My daughter and sons remain engaged, focused, loving and committed to one another and to me and their dad.
They have continued to pursue personal dreams and goals while also giving practical support to each other.
They aren’t perfect by any means. We fuss, we get frustrated, we have times when we’d rather not be together. But in the end, we have each other’s back.
And that is makes us all stronger. It makes us all bolder.
Life this side of loss is a battle.
No one wants to go into battle alone.
I’m thankful I don’t have to.
thelifeididntchoose 