Unnatural

All the fears I thought I knew

All the what-ifs I pondered during inky nights-

None of them-none. of. them. prepared me for this reality.

I have thought many times of  my own death.  Anyone past twenty-five has to consider that the farther you get from high school the closer you get to the grave.

So I put foolish and risky behavior behind me.  Eat fiber.  Exercise.  

Wise choices, that’s the ticket. 

But what about random?  What about unexpected?  What about lightning strikes and sudden curves?

How do you plan for that?

I know I’ll end some day.  That’s the way of things.  And I’m OK with that.

My children.  

They are my legacy.  They are the keepers of my light.

They are the part of me that will live beyond me.

Except one of them.

I am his legacy-the unanticipated keeper of HIS light.

It’s not supposed to be this way.

Yet here I am.

Unnatural.  Unacceptable.

Unthinkable.

Inescapably real.

 

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

7 thoughts on “Unnatural”

  1. So well said Melanie, as always. Unthinkable and unnatural have been my words don’t June 10,2012. I am so very sorry that we lost our sons. You are in my prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “I am his legacy-the unanticipated keeper of HIS light.”

    Truer and more heart wrenching words could not be spoken . . . a turn of phrase has untold power to communicate unvarnished truth. You have a gift for turning a phrase.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Wow Melanie…you have such a way with words. Our losses are completely different, but you capture grief so accurately. I’m so sorry for the loss of you Dominic. Unnatural is the way to describe it. Unnatural, unfair, unthinkable.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you, Alison. I truly wish this were not the topic for my writing. But I am thankful it may be helpful for others. It’s one way to redeem the pain. May the Lord sustain you in your journey.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s