I’ve written many times about the fact that my heart still holds all the love it ever did for ALL my children-even the one who no longer walks beside me here on earth.
That’s one of the reasons I will never stop speaking of him-just as I never stop speaking of my living children.
It’s also why I cling tenaciously to the lesson I am learning this side of child loss: Love lives.
It lives in me, through me and is waiting for me in Heaven.
I ran across this lovely poem just recently.
I hope you like it as much as I do.
By Merrit Malloy
When I die
Give what’s left of me away
And old me that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.
You can love me most
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
So, when all that’s left of me
Give me away.
Since Dominic ran ahead I collect poems, sayings and quotes that help my heart put words to what it feels.
I consider each one a gift.
Over the next few days I will share some of them with you-I hope you find them as beautiful and helpful as I do.
This is a beautiful, traditional Jewish blessing often shared with mourners.
No matter what I’m doing or where I am, I always remember Dominic. ❤
In the rising of the sun and it’s going down, we remember them.
In the blowing of the wind and the chill of the Winter, we remember them.
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of Spring, we remember them.
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of Summer, we remember them.
In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of Autumn, we remember them.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them.
When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them.
As long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.
~Rabbi Sylvan Kamens and Rabbi Jack Riemer
All the fears I thought I knew
All the what-ifs I pondered during inky nights-
None of them-none. of. them. prepared me for this reality.
I have thought many times of my own death. Anyone past twenty-five has to consider that the farther you get from high school the closer you get to the grave.
So I put foolish and risky behavior behind me. Eat fiber. Exercise.
Wise choices, that’s the ticket.
But what about random? What about unexpected? What about lightning strikes and sudden curves?
How do you plan for that?
I know I’ll end some day. That’s the way of things. And I’m OK with that.
They are my legacy. They are the keepers of my light.
They are the part of me that will live beyond me.
Except one of them.
I am his legacy-the unanticipated keeper of HIS light.
It’s not supposed to be this way.
Yet here I am.