The Empty Chair

Most people realize that the “big” holidays are painful for bereaved parents-Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day-that makes sense.  

But what most people don’t know is that every single red-letter day-even the obscure ones-can be hard on parents missing a child.

Because any day that marks a departure from routine leaves gaps where I can dwell a little longer on the fact that Dominic is NOT here.

Any day off that lends itself to a family BBQ or celebration or just extra time around the table because we aren’t in a rush highlights that empty chair.  

ask me about the empty chair


Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

6 thoughts on “The Empty Chair”

  1. Our 11 y.o. daughter passed away July 1st, 2018. Her funeral service was July 6th. We were planning her funeral to the sounds of fireworks and parties in the neighborhood.

    The night before she passed we had celebrated her sister’s 8th birthday with family. So celebrating/singing happy birthday to our younger daughter or anything 4th of July related carries so much grief and unavoidable triggers now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I lost my Travis 8 months ago and still can hardly function. I need him here now, today for the 4th of July barbecue by the pool and fireworks. He was the light of my life, it’s like I still don’t know how to move on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s not something that you can just “decide” to do. You make it through one day and then the next and the next and suddenly it’s a week, month, year. I am so, so sorry for you loss and your pain. It’s hard. No shortcuts and no bypasses. Praying that the Lord gives you strength and fills your hurting heart with His love, grace and mercy. ❤


  3. Of all places, the dining table has always been one of the most sharply painful for me, especially when all the kids are home. There, more than any other place, the absence is most grotesquely apparent. That one chair is plainly and literally empty, and the Absence sits there like a physical presence, monopolizing every conversation by not speaking.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have described it perfectly! We talk about that a lot-as long as only part of the family is home, Dominic’s chair is empty, yes, but so are others. But when everyone EXCEPT him is around the table-oh, how his absence looms large. I miss the days when no one was missing. ❤


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