Time (and Life!) Marches On

I’ve probaby heard the question a half-dozen times in the past three weeks as doctors or nurses were checking my mom’s mental function during her hospital stay:  What year is it?

And every single time-even though I know full well that it is 2017-the answer makes me suck in my breath.  Because, really, how has the world kept turning since Dominic left us?

How, how, how can it be nearly three and a half years since I talked to him, hugged him, heard his voice?

But it is.  

And the further we get from that point in time when the world as I knew it came crashing down, the harder it is for people around me to remember that I continue to carry this load.

I’ve gotten stronger.  I’ve developed ways to work around the grief most days and in most situations.

Still, I find daily tasks more challenging than before.  Sadness sneaks up on me and tears leak from my eyes.  Anxiety stalks my heart and sometimes catches it.

I get tired-so, so tired-because there is just no reserve.

I wish I could press the “pause” button and give myself a little break.

But time (and life!) marches on.  

 

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

5 thoughts on “Time (and Life!) Marches On”

  1. I look forward to your blog posts each and everyday. I have signed up for several of the private Facebook pages and I try myself to be as positive about losing our son, putting a hole forever in our hearts and our family, but at times the negativity is too much to take for me. Your view points are always almost spot on for how I am feeling and what I need to provide me that push to keep moving on. I am so very sorry for the loss of your Dominic and I wish none of us ever had to be a part of this “lifewedidn’tchoose”. Thank you for being willing to open your heart, mind and soul and share it with all of us. You are a true inspiration and I wanted to make sure you know that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So true. I was in a store the other week, which I avoid if at all possible, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a 2018 calendar displayed. My heart jumped a beat and my breath lurched. I literally couldn’t comprehend the date and I had to think hard on how it could be 2018 next year. I am still stuck in the year it happened.

    Liked by 1 person

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