I think nearly every bereaved parent has a crisis of faith that takes one form or another.
When I read scripture I see that most of the “giants” of faith had moments of doubt as well.
I have certainly felt sometimes like God wasn’t listening or if He was listening, He didn’t care. He’s disappointed me because my prayers were not answered the way I expected them to be or they weren’t answered at all (from my perspective).
Those feelings are normal but feelings don’t always reflect truth.
If I’m to battle the lies my heart is tempted to believe, I must feed it truth until it’s able to take hold of it.
So I go to the Psalms of lament and follow the pattern laid out there:
- Express my frustration, fear and disappointment (exhale my doubts);
- bring my broken heart to God (position myself to receive);
- and recite the truth that God does not lie and that every promise is “ yes” and “amen” in Christ ( inhale strength, faith, comfort and hope).
It’s not a once and done thing- sometimes I do this dozens of times a day. But I always come away stronger and better able to face my fears and doubts.
If you currently feel like God’s not listening I pray you will take that pain straight to the Throne of grace.
Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever.
Why do you hide your face
and forget our misery and oppression?
We are brought down to the dust;
our bodies cling to the ground.
Rise up and help us;
rescue us because of your unfailing love.
Psalm 44: 23-26 NIV
May you choose to trust truth even when your heart doesn’t want to.
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Habakkuk 3:17, 18 NIV
And may you hear the Lord sing grace and mercy over your soul.
The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3: 17