Why I’m Still Writing Seven Years After Loss?

I first shared this two years ago when I was reflecting on half a decade of living without one of my children beside me. I’ve now had another year to think about why or if I’ll continue to write.

Every so often I take a day or two to reflect on whether I want to keep posting. I have to admit sometimes I worry that if I bang the same drum it will sound too loud or obnoxious in some people’s ears.

But then I get a message or comment from someone fresh on this journey and they feel seen, heard, validated and safe. So I write on.

And I find that writing still brings clarity and comfort to my soul. I still have things to say and I hope what I say still brings some small measure of light, love, life and hope to other hearts.

❤ Melanie

If someone had said, “Pick any topic to write about”, child loss wouldn’t have been in the first million choices.

No one CHOOSES child loss (Thus the name of the blog:  The Life I Didn’t Choose).

But untold numbers of parents EXPERIENCE it every year.  This very day,  parents somewhere got a knock on the door or a phone call or sat next to a hospital bed as life slipped slowly from their child’s tired body.

Since I was already journaling and had walked this Valley for nearly a year and a half, it dawned on me that the ramblings I’d put down might be helpful to another heart.  So I started THIS blog in September, 2015.

And I’ve been here ever since.  

Read the rest here: Why Am I Still Writing About Loss Five Years Out?

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

5 thoughts on “Why I’m Still Writing Seven Years After Loss?”

  1. Melanie, please keep posting. I’m a year and a half in and the loss of my adult son is a raw gaping hole in my heart, my body, my life. You are helping me to stand up and walk this path.


  2. Thank you so much for your writings. I read them everyday and you encourage me to go on. I am coming up on our daughters 8th angelversary and know that I have grown in my faith. I love how faith is your strength too. I love hearing about Dominic and the rest of your family. It’s like we know each other’s heart ❤️.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. And I thank you for still writing. On June 30 it will be six years for me. I thought this road would have an ending when it started, yet I have days where I flounder and fall and days where I sort of feel normal. I never know what and when I will be triggered, and of course I miss him more and more each day. I know there are people who think grievers of children gone to soon should get over it, however, it doesn’t work that way and sometimes the endings to life stories aren’t happy and just suck, so thank you for being honest. This is the worst experience I have had to face and still face and your column does help me know that through faith I can move day to day, and that I am not alone. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am just under 5 years in this journey and your writings seem to echo my thoughts so many days. You seem to be able to put into words what my heart is feeling. Thank guy so much for writing and guiding so many on the journey !!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Melanie, your posts are the first thing I read every day, since I discovered your blog. What is so special is that your posts reflect how I feel but can’t put into words that have such depth and meaning like you do.and how faith weaves into loss. I feel,you shine a light into our souls. It’s just so awful, Melanie. You have picked me up many days . Also, because your posts are so heartfelt you share your wonderful son Dominic with us, I love to hear about him..he sounds an amazing young man! I yearn for my darling son every single day, every single minute ..I love him to eternity! It’s just too much .
    I like the way you set out your posts and how we can read previous ones on the links at the end. My concentration is not good at the moment.
    I am also noticing as to just how few Christian based support groups they are..there is definite need for more in society and especially so for siblings and friends of our wonderful children. We are all swirling about lost. It is a journey for sure…marching on with the Lord until we are reunited with our darling children in eternity, and when that is..only the Lord knows.
    Thanks for all the photos and the scripture verses you post…you have a beautiful family, and you can see the love radiating through it! Keep on posting…YOU are amazing Melanie.!
    Everyone else posting on Melanie’s blog thank you for having courage to share your stories of your wonderful children, all because Melanie started her blog. . Reach out and feel the hand of friendship from each other..don’t feel alone..Jesus leads us by love..we walk on together, bless you all xx.
    Thank you dear Melaniexx


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