I hid this post in my draft folder for months before I published it the first time.
It seemed too raw, too full of all the pain inside my mama heart to put out in the wide world for everyone to see.
And then it was time (like now) to change the flowers on the place where my son’s body rests and I couldn’t stand it anymore.
I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, “THIS IS NOT ALL THERE IS OF MY BOY!” I wanted to stop people on the street and make them listen to his story, to give away a piece of him for others to carry in their hearts.
Read the rest here: My Child Existed. He Matters.
I know many of us bereaved moms and dads edit ourselves on a daily basis. While others post freely on social media platforms, we write and delete post after post because we feel like if we put it ALL out there other folks will think less of us.
Or worse-they might think less of the child we miss.
Why oh why would we want to continue to share that same tired old photo some people might ask.
Well, because it’s all we have. We don’t have the luxury of another birthday, Christmas or happy family gathering to snap new pictures of our growing, thriving child.
We wish we did. Believe me, we wish we did. ❤
I know many who read this blog belong to closed online bereavement groups.
That’s a beautiful thing- a place where we can share our pain with others who understand it in a judgement-free zone.
Read the rest here: Your Child Matters
This month marks the beginning of the fifth year since I committed to write every single day in this space.
No one could be as surprised as I am that I’m still here.
I honestly don’t know what response I anticipated when I showed up and started sharing. I just knew that I could not let this heartache go to waste.
Dominic’s death had to count for something.
I had five goals in mind when I started the blog:
- To be as honest and transparent as possible;
- To encourage others and help them hold onto hope;
- To provide a voice for the child loss community in a format that was easy to share;
- To acknowledge and admit that faith did not make child loss any less painful, only more bearable; and
- To chronicle my own progress toward healing.
Of course, I am a biased source, but I feel like I have met those goals in one form or another.
As I continue to walk the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I find there are always new things to say. I am bombarded daily with queries or comments from other bereaved parents that raise a new issue, offer a different perspective or beg for an advocate along this lonesome road.
I’ve discovered that there are many ways life breaks a heart, many ways sorrow enters a soul.
Life is hard.
Love often ends in heartache.
Sorrow can overwhelm a soul so fast there’s no time to grab hold of a lifeline.
But reaching out, reaching back, choosing to be a lighthouse and beacon for the ones so lost they’ve forgotten that light exists, is as much a balm for MY heart as it is for theirs.
Every story matters.
You don’t have to write a blog to share yours.
Speak up. Speak out. Share the hope and strength that has helped you hold on.
You may be the lifeline the next heart needs to choose endurance instead of ending it all.