Have you ever tried to squeeze into too-small jeans, managed to get them over your hips, sucked in and zipped up only to realize that all that extra “you” is now spilling out over the top of the waistband?
Sometimes that’s how life after loss feels.
Too much emotion, too much baggage, too much EVERYTHING that has to fit inside a very narrow set of other people’s expectations and tolerance for self-expression.
I find that I CAN squeeze my words and actions into that skinny space-for awhile.
But then sure as anything, the real me pops out the top and there I am-exposed to the world- warts and all.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2018/07/29/when-self-control-is-in-short-supply/
It’s interesting how God gives a similar message to many in His family around the same time. My friend and fellow bereaved mom, Kathleen Duncan posted just yesterday Dear Momma Who’s Feeling Not Enough. She had no idea that I had this post lined up over a week ago for today. So maybe we should all take a moment to realize that we ARE enough-just us. Because of Christ, we ARE enough. ❤
It has taken me decades to internalize the message that I don’t have anything to prove.
It has taken many, many heartbreaking moments to realize that no matter how hard I try to please everyone and met each expectation held over my head, I will fail.
It has taken diets and restrictive clothing and false faces painted on with make up to understand that my body is not the best representation of who I really am.
It has taken years of self-talk to rub out the negativity stamped on the inside of my brain and behind my eyelids.
I am just now (at 53 years old!) learning to lean into my identity in Christ and turn my back on the false identity the world and the enemy of my soul wants me to embrace.
But the truth is that IF Christ took it ALL to the cross (and I believe He did), then there’s nothing left to prove.
And if there is nothing left to prove then I am truly free.
I’m free to eat and drink to the glory of God instead of eating and drinking to craft my body into a shrine of perfection and youth.
I’m free of people pleasing and set free to please God (even when it doesn’t please people).
I’m free of trying to impress the neighbors and free to impart the good news of the Gospel-no strings attached.
I am free to be the me I was created to be.