The Absence of His Presence is Everywhere

Something I’ve been learning in this grief journey is that loss is an ongoing event.

It’s not confined to the moment of death, the funeral, the burial or even the boxing up of belongings.  

I suffer loss every time there is a moment when Dominic would have been present, should have been present and isn’t here.

It happens when I need to ask him a question, get his opinion, long for his help or just want to hear his voice.   

It happens when I look at myself in the mirror and realize that the living mirror that was Dominic is gone.

There is so much more to his absence than just the hole in my heart.

I shared some of these feelings a few months ago:

A family isn’t just the sum of its parts.  It isn’t a simple equation that can be worked out on a chalkboard or around a dinner table-this person plus that person equals two persons.

A family is an organic mixture of personalities, relationships, strengths and weaknesses that exponentially influence one another. I always joked that our family was a ready-made committee.  Wherever we went we brought a fully staffed, action-ready army of six that spread out and triumphed over whatever challenge we faced.

You can read the rest here:  Minus More Than One

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

3 thoughts on “The Absence of His Presence is Everywhere”

  1. I am now in my 3rd year since I’ve lost my oldest son to a tragic accident. The fog and dust has lifted and I’m no longer on meds. It feels like just yesterday when we were stripped of the life my son was supposed to have. Each day seems to be harder and harder to get up to move forward. I’ve lost interest in things I used to love to do. My mind will tell me, it’s ok to do them…but then I just sit. I am so lost and don’t know how I’ll be able to live another 20+ years without my baby boy, even if he was 29 and 5 days old.
    Please help me get through this. I am completely mad at God. I know I’m not supposed to, but I am. I just don’t know what to do. How to handle the overwhelming emotions on a daily bases.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I lost my son a few months ago. Very tragic accident. I’m lost, empty, don’t know what to do with myself. I love Jesus and I am very spiritual but personally I’m just lost in heartache. I need some advice because I don’t have insurance so no doctor will even try to see me. Please help…


    1. Jessica, I am so very sorry for your pain and your loss! My son was killed instantly in a motorcycle accident-here one moment, gone the next. Sudden and tragic out of order death is devastating! Of course you are lost in the ache of missing your son and adjusting to this new, awful life as a bereaved parent.

      I would suggest that if you are not already part of an online bereaved parents’ group, you join one. There are Compassionate Friends groups that meet face-to-face in many cities. And there is a 13 week Bible based course called GriefShare offered in many places as well. (google to find out if one is available near you) None of these cost anything (GriefShare uses a book but most groups can scholarship it if necessary)

      If you look at the side of my blog posts (or all the way at the bottom if you are using a mobile device) there is a relatively new feature-a search bar. You can type in anything you want more information about and it will generate search results within the site. Of course, that’s only from one mama’s perspective but I do often recommend books and other resources in posts. (Zero affiliate links-I don’t have ads, etc.)

      It is hard, hard, hard to learn to trust God again after losing a child. I did a whole series on Trust After Loss and it might be something that could help you frame what you’re experiencing right now in your faith.

      Praying that you will feel the Father’s loving arms around you and that He will overwhelm your heart with His grace and mercy. May He give you strength to endure and help your heart hold onto hope. ❤


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