I am committed to authenticity but I am also committed to my own privacy and the privacy of my family.
So while I share freely here and in other places, I don’t share everything.
Sometimes I withhold because it’s not my story to tell. Sometimes it’s because I can’t tell it without harming or defaming others. And sometimes I don’t bare all because I just can’t weather other people’s reactions to what I have to say.
But for the most part, I’m pretty transparent. Because secrets don’t serve anyone well.
If I pretend to be stronger than I really am, I hide the truth that it is Christ in me that gives me strength.
If I don’t admit that certain words or actions hurt my heart, I enable thoughtless behavior.
If I only parrot “Sunday School” answers when someone asks about my faith in relation to my loss, then I silence other hearts wrestling with questions and pain in light of God’s sovereignty and love.
If I hide my tears, my pain, the missing then I minimize this great loss, And I will not make losing Dominic small.
But if I am honest about my feelings,
honest about my weakness,
honest about what helps and what hurts,
then I can redeem part of this pain.
I can use it to make space for other hurting hearts.
Transparent is hard because it makes me vulnerable.
But transparent is good because it makes my pain useful.
I didn’t choose this life, but I won’t waste it.