What you tell yourself matters.
What you rehearse becomes what you believe.
What you believe becomes what you do.
When Dominic first ran ahead to Heaven, I was determined to hold onto truth with both hands. I would not allow my mind to wander the winding path of “Why?“ or “What if?” or “Where now?”
I was able to keep that up until the funeral.
Then the bottom fell out.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2017/10/20/why-self-talk-matters/
Everyone makes mistakes.
Everyone wishes, at one time or another, that he or she had done better, spoken more softly or loved more fiercely.
But we are human and can’t get it right all the time.
So if you, like me, have had a less-than-stellar recent record dealing with those you love, those you meet and those you pass on the street or in your car, accept this truth:
You are absolutely, positively NOT perfect.
And that’s OK.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start over.
If apologies are in order, make them.
If hugs can set things straight, hug away.
And if only time can soften a heart then be prepared to wait.
I’m no quitter.
I grew up with the mantra, “You can be anything you want to be if you want to be it badly enough” ringing through my childhood.
I added this one for my kids: “Failure is not an option.”
But I’ve got to admit, while both are great motivators when motivation is the missing ingredient, they are lies.
I cannot be “anything I want to be”. I can be the best me possible, but I cannot be anyone but me.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2018/09/07/accepting-my-limitations/
If you follow my personal Facebook page you know that part of my family evacuated ahead of Hurricane Dorian.
We are waiting the storm out at my parents’ farm in a safe spot. It was an unexpected opportunity to see one another and a sweet blessing (the visit, not the storm!) but a houseful makes it hard to do the kind of writing I normally do.
So…you’ll see some reposts for a couple days.
Hurricanes and random shootings and awful accidents can make a heart remember that relationships are really what matters.
One hard, hard lesson I’ve learned from waking up one morning to a never-coming-home son is this: You may not have another chance to make amends, say “I love you“, kiss a face or hug a neck.
I’m here to tell you: don’t drown your important relationships in unsaid words, unshared feelings, unacknowledged wounds.
All that does is guarantee distance grows between your hearts.
If you let the distance become too vast, or the pile of unsaid truth get too high, you might just find you can’t reach that far or that high to reconnect.
It takes a bit of brave to say what’s important and uncomfortable.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2018/09/02/speaking-truth/
We CAN hold some of it in.
In certain circumstances.
And barring additional stress.
But not forever.
So let it out.
Speak your truth and tell your story.
If others don’t understand or turn away or give you the evil eye, ignore them.
This isn’t their story-to tell or to live.
I think if we are absolutely honest, most of us would admit we have few relationships that operate without some kind of script.
We are friends with someone because we like the same hobbies or spend time together at a job or ball park or church.
We fall in love with someone because they “complete” us and offer companionship, emotional support and stability.
When the script fails (for whatever reason) we tend to pull away from those relationships.
But if I choose to enter into the suffering of another, I must do so without a script and commit to the long haul.
I must follow his or her lead, allow him or her to guide my response and refuse to impose my preferences on that hurting heart.
I’m there to hold a hand and help a heart hold onto hope.
We all do it from time to time-slip into playing a role instead of being real.
Sometimes it just takes too much energy to take off the mask and show my real face to the world.
Because if I do, it might raise questions or provoke judgement or even frighten folks and who wants to deal with that?