What’s Your Legacy?

I can’t tell you how many people try to tell me what Dominic’s “legacy” is.  They extol his positive virtues and comment on how many lives he touched in his short 23 years.

They want me to be consoled with the intangible, relational, immeasurable impact of his life on the lives of others.

Yet they continue to live as if their OWN legacy will be determined by the amount of stuff they acquire or the size of their retirement accounts or the money they leave behind for others to spend.

It can’t be both.

If my son’s life is worth remembering just because of who he was, the people he loved and how he lived, then EVERYONE’S life is worth remembering for the very same things.

Christmas is the one time a year when far-flung family members are often gathered around the same table.  It’s an opportunity to make connections and build relationships.

So I ask myself, “Am I going to spend it talking about the weather and the news and other sundry things that won’t matter in a day, much less a year?”


OR, maybe I can choose to reach out, to ask deep questions, to make space for honest conversation and real sharing.

Maybe I can mend a broken relationship by offering a long-hoped-for apology, speaking aloud the offense and taking responsibility for the pain I’ve caused in the past.  

Perhaps I can proclaim a REAL blessing-not just the one we memorized from grade school-over the food and over the heads of the people gathering to eat it.

Why am I glad they are there?  TELL THEM!

Most of the presents under the tree will be consumed, broken, outgrown and tossed away one day.  But meaningful words spoken in love and kindness will live forever in a person’s heart.

We all leave something behind.  

We are all building a legacy.  

This Christmas I’m asking myself, “What’s mine?”

greatest gift is your time



Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

8 thoughts on “What’s Your Legacy?”

  1. Love this, Melanie. It’s such great advice. Wishing you the blessing of peace and love this Christmas. Thanks for all you do for our community. I’m not online as much as I was before (working more now), but whenever I have a chance to read your posts, I get so much from them…


    1. It’s so easy to get caught up in the world’s definition of what matters. I have to remind my heart on a regular basis that love is the only thing that outlives us. ❤


  2. Love the reminder of how our time and love can do so much more than any present. God envelops us with those things upon us daily. He also wants us to pour onto others with those same gifts. I’m all about letting Jesus work though me. I believe anything good that comes out of me is Him. That includes loving others. I can get in my own way sometimes and am so thankful to have Him be my guide. Much love sent to you thus week. Ann

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I get in my own way often, Ann. I think it’s the way of us humans. But when I can move out of the way and let the love of Christ shine in me and through me, I am much happier. May God give you exactly what you need when you need it these next days and into the New Year. ❤


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