Choosing To Be Seen

It’s tempting to hide.

All I have to do is stay home or plaster on the “I’m fine” mask before I leave my driveway and venture out into the world.

Because, frankly, sometimes I just don’t want to explain why I’m crying again, struggling still, walking wounded and not “healed”.

But it’s not healthy.

I cannot selectively numb my emotions.  When I push down the painful, I slam the lid on all of it-joy and love included.

cannot selectively numb emotion brene brown

It takes courage to choose to be seen.

It’s hard to choose to walk honestly and openly in the world.

It’s risky to offer my authentic self up to an often inattentive, insensitive and critical audience.  
vulnerability brene brown

But if I am to be truly known then I must choose to let others see my struggle and allow them to witness my failures and heartache.  

courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen brene brown

Truth is, when I hide I forfeit real connection. 

There’s no authentic relationship without vulnerability.  

connection brene brown

I want deep and authentic bonds with family and friends.  

I don’t want to hide.  

I want to be seen.


Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

5 thoughts on “Choosing To Be Seen”

    1. It does often feel that way, doesn’t it? But I’m convinced that there are those that DO see, even if they never tell us. I’ve had some random people that I assumed ignored every post I made and didn’t usually speak to me suddenly comment or message me and indicate that choosing to be open has impacted their lives. Keep showing up Roger! It makes a difference to me.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I see both sides of the coin on this one. I agree with Roger’s comment, in that it can seem like we are playing to an empty theatre when no one shows up, when no on responds to blogs, when it seems everyone scrolls unseeingly by FaceBook posts.

        But, I also agree with you, in that it may be possible that people see us and care but don’t say anything. It’s really hard to tell when there is no response, though, especially when it’s so hard to be open and vulernable. You would almost have to be a mind reader to know. As the saying goes, “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” I guess we could modify this saying for a parent whose child has died as: If no one shows up, doesn’t let us they care by their words or actions, doesn’t do or say something that indicates they remember and value our child, or doesn’t respond in any way, how do we know they care? I’m sure there are people who care, but just don’t know what to say…but we don’t know they care unless they say something. It’s kind of an odd conundrum.

        By the way, Roger, I tried to find your blog post on the empty theatre, but couldn’t locate it. I see one site with posts, thought I was following your blog, and one that says it was deleted, but don’t see that particular post. Am not sure what’s going on.


        Liked by 1 person

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