I was talking to my dad the other morning as I do every morning.
We catch one another up on personal news and then turn to the world at large.
After another day of dismal and disconcerting headlines I asked my retired fighter pilot/flight instructor/still flying/recently bereaved dad, “So, how are you REALLY doing?”
He replied, “I’m flying the plane.”
He told me the first rule of flying was: NO MATTER WHAT– never, never, never stop flying the plane.
Even if the only thing you can do is fly it into a crash.
Focus on the essentials.
Don’t be distracted by incidentals.
Save all your energy for the things you CAN do something about and ignore the things you can’t control.
As he was talking I realized that somewhere in my 56 years he had taught me this lesson well although he’d never taught me to fly.
So that’s what we are doing.
It’s what we’re all doing.
We are taking care of the things we can and trying hard to not waste any energy on things we can’t. We’re checking on one another, encouraging one another, making sure each one is getting proper nutrition and rest and refusing to sweat the small stuff.
I can’t see my ICU nurse daughter because she’s possibly been exposed to the virus and I am immunosuppressed.
So I dug through my stash and sent her and the foster kids she helps her best friend parent a box brimming full of random craft supplies to stave off boredom.
It’s not much but it’s something I CAN do.
I’m walking every day and keeping my cardiovascular system as fit as possible.
I’m writing and posting on several public Facebook pages I maintain. One is dedicated to bereaved parents, another to general spiritual encouragement and a third to educational resources for parents who suddenly find themselves having to teach their children at home when they were used to sending them off to school.
I have cleaned out a few random corners that should have been cleaned months (let’s be honest-years!) ago. And I’m checking in on friends and neighbors.
My public health officer son is running crazy so I don’t bombard him with texts or messages but I try to shoot him at least one encouraging word every day. He calls when he can and just last evening treated us to a FaceTime session with our little Captain.
Seeking joy wherever we can find it is part of our daily routine. And nothing says “JOY!” like this happy smile.
My husband is working from home (THAT’S an adjustment for this women who loves her quiet time!) so I fixed him up a work station and make sure I don’t interrupt his conference call by hollering something from the kitchen (or vacuuming under his feet). He’s making some adjustments to my preference for light-hearted viewing in the evenings and saving his heavier, action-packed choices for after I go to bed.
Kind of a trial run for his retirement.
The son that lives close by has become our errand runner and grocery store shopper.
He picks up what we need, being extra careful to clean his hands and clothes before bringing it into the house. He shopped for our elderly neighbor as well. He’s doing his part to maintain a buffer between those of us who may be more susceptible and the virus.
Flying the plane means we are keeping our wits about us, doing the important and necessary things.
But it also means we are finding moments to take a breath, enjoy a laugh, watch a sunset, go for a walk, listen to the birds sing, play with the dog or cats, share a funny meme, and eat meals together.
We can’t control the world but we can control our reaction to what it tosses our way.
We can’t guarantee our safety but we can choose to do things that enhance it.
Tomorrow the wings might fall off.
But today we are flying the plane.
thelifeididntchoose 