Remember the childhood riddle, “Which is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?”
It was great fun to catch someone giving the wrong answer.
Because, of course, a ton is a ton is a ton. Weight is an absolute measure.
But it takes fewer bricks to reach that quota although it takes just as much strength to lift the burden.
One thing I’m learning in my grief journey is that there are so many people carrying a load.
I find my compassion radar has been fine-tuned to hear even the faintest whisper of hurt in someone’s voice, to see the tiniest gleam of a tear, to notice the smallest stoop of shoulders or the beginning of a frown.
And while some of us have had our ton of pain and sorrow delivered via bricks-suddenly, forcefully and overwhelmingly dumped-others have acquired their ton over a lifetime of disappointment, struggle and testing.
They both weigh a ton.
And they both require great strength to carry.
It’s a challenge to resist the urge to rank my experience on a continuum of pain.
Although I bridle when people compare their loss of a pet or job to my loss of a child (as I wrote about here), I do try to extend grace when others expose their own wounds.
I want to comfort other people with the comfort I have received. Not only the comfort from Christ-which is the ultimate comfort-but also the comfort I’ve received from wise friends and caring sisters-in-loss.
I want to be a listening ear, a compassionate heart and an outstretched hand.
I want to be a witness, a fellow traveler on the journey, an encourager.
Grief
is grief
is grief.
A ton is a ton is a ton.
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And nothing can prepare us to carry this weight : whether it be unexpected or a child with a longtime illness or by any other means. The weight is a ton.
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Today is one year that our son Cale died. He was 31 and fought seizures for the last 13 years he lived. I was his caregiver, his nurse, his mama, a constant companion. He was my joy and taught me so much about child like faith in God. We miss him so. We are longing for heaven even more. Jesus I am so grateful for you helping to ease the weight of this ton of grief
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Lisa, I am so, so sorry for your pain and your loss. Anniversary days are harder than even our ordinary hard days. I’m thankful the blog might help just a bit. May you feel the Father’s loving arms around you today, especially and may He give you the strength, grace and mercy you need to get through this remembrance day. May He bring some sweet memories to mind that will put a smile on your lips even in the midst of your sorrow. Thankful for the promise we have in Jesus that all of this will be redeemed. ❤
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