And The Gap Grows: Trying To Remember In a World That Forgets

I’ve written before about how I choose to leave some things just as Dominic left them-even over five years later.

It’s my way of maintaining physical space in our home that represents the space in my heart where only he can fit.

It’s also more than that.

As time progresses, nearly every other tangible evidence that Dominic existed is being worn away.

Sure there are photographs-but even they are growing old while he is not. No fresh adventures captured on phone or film. No new Facebook or Twitter posts. No new anything.

And as he becomes less relevant to other people’s lives, the gap between my experience and their’s grows ever larger.

Because he is just as relevant to my life as he ever was.

I have four children. Dominic is third of four, second of three boys. He is Uncle Dominic to my new grandson although Ryker won’t meet him in this life. He is my encouragement to keep doing hard things because he never allowed difficulty or pain to stop him from doing them.

His absence looms large. Every. single. day.

And sometimes, when it seems the world has forgotten him, when all the bits and pieces of who he was in life and how he touched others are floating away in the ocean of human activity, it looms larger.

So on those days I’m a little weepy.

On those days I may talk of him more.

On those days I might have to pull out the old photos and post them online.

Bear with me, please.

I need others to remember too.

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

6 thoughts on “And The Gap Grows: Trying To Remember In a World That Forgets”

  1. Not only a world that forgets but they want us to forget and not be sad any more. They don’t understand that we not only miss our children but also miss the future with them. We want them to remember them because we loved them so much. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for your openness. I find that most of your posts match up with my experiences as well. We just passed the 3 year mark and I find that so many are also forgetting my Brett. Many tire of my desire to keep his memory alive but I will continue as long as I live. Post on, I will be doing the same!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you, Melanie, for your honesty. Tomorrow we mark two years without our darling daughter, Emily Grace. Countless memories…extending back to the day I discovered I was expecting her..through to her last day…sit and keep me company on this long night. 💔

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have 4 children, Ben is the third of four. We are also coming up on 5 years. The GAP is widening. 5 years is really hard . Love to you! Thank you for writing what I feel!

    Sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Melanie, you are in my prayers. You verbalized my fears and I appreciate the vulnerability you willingly share with us. This past weekend we hit the three-year mark of our after and it hurts so much.


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