Recently I was challenged by someone close to me to examine the impact on my heart of spending so much time in community with those whose loss was fresher and more raw than my own.
They were being neither judgmental nor argumentative.
They were coming from a genuine place of concern, grace and love.
So I took the opportunity to take a step back and reevaluate whether or not I need to continue writing in this space, spend time reading and responding to posts in bereaved parents’ groups and ruminating on how grief has changed over time (now seven plus years!).
It was an excellent exercise.
Read the rest here: Challenge Accepted: Why Am I Still Here?
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thelifeididntchoose 
Melanie – Your words speak to me EVERY day and I often feel that I’m getting the Lord’s message through you. I understand that you can not carry too much grief or sadness from others, but your example is a light in the dark world of grief and death for many. God bless you for continuing to write.
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I loss my own Daughter Dec 2,2020
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Wow – do I understand. Johns’ birthday is April 17th. We are approaching 10 years this August 8th; it simultaneously seems like yesterday and a million years ago. My wife has dealt with Johns’ death in a different way, as has his 4 brothers. We’ve moved on in place. I continue to hold monthly meetings of a local “Parents Of Loss” group; our numbers dipped since Covid and have yet to recover despite the explosion of losses. So I’m going to keep our local meetings going because, one day a “new” mom or dad will show up and I wish to be there.
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I found your blog so inspiring I would hope you continue writing. You are good at it. My son made his transition in September 2021 and I recently found you. I am going through old posts now. I hope to continue benefiting from your words. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Queen E.
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Everyone deals with the loss of a child in different timelines. My son was 43 and died 6 years ago. I go several days without thoughts and then I find myself in a part of town or a store or close to the apartments he lived in and my mind starts thinking. I am also triggered by seeing children in a program at church and I see him standing among the boys that age and remember. I meet people from time to time that lost a child and we share our stories.
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Please don’t stop! I am at 7 years since I lost my son Daniel and I need to read and reread your writings.
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Thank you for your guidance, and your incredible gift of writing.
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Please do what is best for you and your healing along your journey. Some commenters seem to implore you to do what is best for THEM. You have ministered others. Do not be guilted into continuing along a path that no longer serves you. If writing helps you feel connected, and improves your well-being, then win-win. But, you do not owe anyone else ANYTHING!
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I am so grateful for your wisdom and guidance in this journey.
Your words bring balance to my world .I don’t feel like some “crazy pareson.”
I thank God for your ministry.
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Our timelines are very close, so our journey has been together. My David went to heaven 1-1-2013. I did not want to go on anymore. When I found your site and writings, I know It was God. I wish I could write so elegantly. You have a gift. You are able to put our feelings into words that has pulled me thru. Thank you for every single word you have written on this journey. God has lead so many of us to your site, like a lighthouse you have guided us thru this darkness. Thank you a million times.
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I would not know how I would start my day without your words of wisdom and insight. Many ask me why I am still attending Griefshare 2 years after the loss of my son. For me, it helps me to see some progress (?) and to be around people who understand loss and grief. They get me and where I am. I have shared your posts so many times and there are thousands, if not more, who treasure your words. No matter your decision to keep writing or not, Thank You!, I am “better” for having found your blog.
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Please don’t stop writing or posting. It’s encouragement for my heart, mind, and soul.
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….and so?????? I hope and pray your contemplation leads to a decision to keep up your sharing of your insight and wisdom. It’s one of the few blessings in the nightmare of child loss . Makes us feel less lonely and gives hope🙏🏻❤️💔
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The link to the rest of the post was left off. Head back and it’s there now. I will keep writing for the foreseeable future. ❤
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I get it. I remember the pain of attending a compassionate friends candle lighting and my husband said “please don’t make me come again….this is too painful. But some are here as their ministry and I respect that……this just isn’t for me.” I think what you do is ministry, what you speak of resonates deeply with my 3 year awfulness. Of course God calls for breaks and rest and such as it is needed. Sounds like a caring friend.
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