Instead Of Fixing, Offer Space To Share

I didn’t realize until I was the person who needed comforting how unhelpful and sometimes painful my own past comments were to my suffering friends and family.

There are many important and necessary conversations going on right now about how we talk to and talk about our fellow humans.  I’m thankful folks are learning that words are rarely (ever?) neutral.

They build up or tear down. 

And we are responsible for them.

I wish that along with other areas, we would consider how we discuss and address those who experience painful life circumstances.  But we rarely do.

This is one place where the right words can make such a difference.

Instead of shutting down the broken heart or lamenting soul, we can choose to invite them to share and then stick around to listen.

We can create safe spaces instead of closing the door to further conversation.

We can participate in healing instead of perpetuating the pain.


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Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

3 thoughts on “Instead Of Fixing, Offer Space To Share”

  1. This post is great. You never realize until you are on the other side of the comments how they impact the person you are saying them to. I choose my words now soooo very carefully because I too had these said to me. The best was that “at least I had other children”. I was sooo shocked someone would say that but they did.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Brenton’s Mom-I too, had that comment fired at me by someone I love dearly. A friend who had gone out of her way to memorialize my daughter. I still remember the conversation like it was yesterday and it STILL stings. Yes, I still have 3 living children, but that doesn’t negate the daily pain of separation from the 2 who live with Jesus. Hugs, fellow warrior mama.

      Liked by 1 person

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