Growing up digesting Disney fairy tales can warp your sense of reality.
There are no unblemished princes or perfect princesses out there. The bad guys don’t always get what they deserve and the good guys don’t always win.
At least not here on earth.
Read the rest here: Messy Lives, Merciful Savior
The first time God reveals Himself as Jehovah-Jireh, The LORD Who Provides, is Genesis 22.
Abraham and Sarah have received their son of promise. But God tests Abraham.asking him to sacrifice Isaac.
Abraham obeys in faith, trusting God even in this request that seems to undo every promise the LORD had previously made to him.
How would he be the father of many nations if his only son was taken from him?
As they were going, Isaac noticed something unusual, “See here is the fire and the wood but where is the lamb for the burnt sacrifice?” (Genesis 22:7)
To which Abraham replied, “My son, God Himself will provide a lamb for the burnt offering.” (Genesis 2:8)
Jehovah-Jireh, the LORD My Provider was his answer.
He couldn’t see the provision, there were no loud bleats in the distance, but Abraham knew the character of the God he served and he trusted that what he needed God would provide.
And God did provide.
Isaac, bound on the altar, Abraham’s (trembling?) hand raised, the Angel of the Lord calls to Abraham:
“Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.”
And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide” Genesis 22:12-14
I wasn’t asked to give up my son.
There was no miraculous intervention on that day.
No angel stayed the hand of circumstance that slew my child.
But I do believe that even in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, the LORD is My Provider.
He provided His own Son, Who conquered sin and death and Who made a way through the Holy of Holies for my child to enter eternity straight into the arms of Jesus.
I don’t have to fear that when Dominic left us, he was left alone.
I don’t have to worry that our seperation is forever.
I don’t have to wonder if he was “good enough” to get into heaven.
I can trust in the character of my God, The LORD My Provider, that He has made full and adequate provision for me and for all those who trust in Him through Jesus to be redeemed and restored.
And He has provided friends and family and online communities and His Word to bring me comfort in the waiting.
He fills my heart with hope when my soul is weary.
He grants peace when I am overcome with anxious thoughts.
He pours grace and mercy and love into the empty places so that being filled, I can overflow.
There are days when I wonder, days when I am afraid. When those days come, I run to the tower of the Name of the LORD. I remember that He is The LORD My Provider.
He has provided. He does provide. He will provide. He IS His Name.
When struck by fear, I let go, depending securely upon You alone. Psalm 56:3 VOICE
The other day I needed to get something in the room where we have Dominic’s things stored-not the boxed-up-not-dealing-with-them-now things-but the personal things that bear his scent, his mark, his personality.
And the warm spring air had concentrated the odor that is him just behind the doorway. It caught me by surprise-that I could still smell him, still feel his presence, still be so certain that he had just passed by this very spot.
My mama heart cried, “More time!”
Just one more minute,
one more hug,
one more “I love you”,
one more breath.
But it would never be enough.
One more would only feed my longing for the next minute.
There is no earthly cure for this heart sickness. No words to make it better. No medicine strong enough to numb the pain of missing him.
So I wait.
I wait for my heart to heal enough so that I can focus on something other than healing.
I wait for passion to return to my soul.
I wait for a day-just one day-when joyful moments outweigh sorrowful ones.
I wait for the promised beauty from ashes.
I wait for faith to be made sight.
And while I wait, I turn my heart and mind and strength toward the One Who is Faithful and True.
Nothing that has cursed mankind shall exist any longer; the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be within the city. His servants shall worship him; they shall see his face, and his name will be upon their foreheads. Night shall be no more; they have no more need for either lamplight or sunlight, for the Lord God will shed his light upon them and they shall reign as kings for timeless ages.
Then the angel said to me, “These words are true and to be trusted, for the Lord God, who inspired the prophets, has sent his angel to show his servants what must shortly happen.”
“See, I come quickly! Happy is the man who pays heed to the words of the prophecy in this book.”
Revelation 22:3-7 PHILLLIPS
I must remind my heart every day that Jesus Himself declared the blessing in mourning. I must remember that there is comfort available at His feet. Not in running from my pain, but in embracing it and trusting Him to redeem it.
What blessing is there in mourning? What comfort in distress? What good can come from pain and brokenness?
Good questions.
Honest questions.
Questions I have asked God.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”~Jesus
The folks that followed Him up the hill were part of a nation that had waited centuries for deliverance from sin and persecution. Jesus was surrounded by people powerless to change their circumstances. They were grieving, mourning, in distress.
So when He said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” He was offering real hope to the brokenhearted. He was issuing an invitation…
When we reach the end of our own strength in grief, God invites us into a fellowship of suffering that includes Jesus Christ.
Burying a child is a humbling experience. It is teaching me that I am powerless and oh, so dependent on the grace and mercy of God.
My heart was broken open wide to receive the truth that fierce love makes me vulnerable to deep pain.
And the pain cleared the clutter and noise of the everyday to focus my mind’s attention and my heart’s affection on the eternal.
My life is swept clean of distraction and foolish things and filled with new understanding of what is important and lasting.
My pain has not disappeared.
But it is making room for the God of all comfort to fill it with hope:
That what I am feeling right now is not forever and forever is going to be glorious…
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4 KJV
It’s been said that children are a mother’s heart walking around outside her body–mine certainly are.
And now part of my heart is in heaven. That makes the promises of God so much more personal.
So I hunt for, cling to and chew on every word like it really is the bread of life–because while I walk the valley of the shadow of death this is the food that sustains me.
Today my heart is broken, but someday it will be whole again.
Today I walk in shadow, but someday I will walk in bright light:
“No longer will you need the sun to shine by day, nor the moon to give its light by night, for the LORD your God will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.” Isaiah 60:19 NLT
Today all creation groans under the curse of sin and death, but someday everything will be restored, renewed and redeemed.
On this mountain [Zion] the Lord of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples [to welcome His reign on earth],
A banquet of aged wines—choice pieces [flavored] with marrow,
Of refined, aged wines.And on this mountain He will destroy the covering that is [cast] over all peoples,
And the veil [of death] that is woven and spread over all the nations.He will swallow up death [and abolish it] for all time.
And the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
And He will take away the disgrace of His people from all the earth;
For the Lord has spoken.It will be said in that day,
“Indeed, this is our God for whom we have waited that He would save us.
This is the Lord for whom we have waited;
Let us shout for joy and rejoice in His salvation.”
Isaiah 25:6-9 AMP
