My life is filled with lots of different kinds of people.
Because of this ministry, I message or talk to bereaved parents every day but I also message and talk to friends and family who have no clue what living with child loss looks like.
I learn something from all of them.
I try to be open to support and encouragement even when it comes from unlikely sources.
I remember the first early, very tender, very emotional days, weeks and months when I felt like a walking nerve. Any stray word or look was likely to bring tears to my eyes and drive me into seclusion for hours.
I couldn’t imagine that anything anyone who hadn’t walked this path could say would be helpful.
How could it be when they just. didn’t. know?????
And yet…over time, my heart softened by pain and sorrow and I realized that while others may not know my particular brand of suffering, they are often carrying a burden as well.
Even if the size and shape of their load is different than mine, they are learning from the journey and some of their wisdom might help me just as some of mine might help them.
Self-care, good boundaries, safe friends who allow us to share openly when we are struggling, grace, helpful, healthy habits-all those things are useful regardless of what we are going through.
If I close myself off and refuse to share life with anyone who isn’t situated precisely as I am in this life I didn’t choose I will miss oh, so very much!
I love, love, love the deep friendships I’ve formed with other bereaved parents (although I hate, hate, hate the way we found one another).
Online groups, the community around this blog, at retreats and through book and Bible studies, these parents form the foundation of strength and encouragement that has helped my heart hold on to hope.
But I also have beautiful nonbereaved friends who listen to my stories, share my tears and fears and who have walked and continue to walk beside me on this rocky road.
So don’t overlook or undervalue support regardless of where it comes from.
Look around.
Listen closely.
You might just be blessed more than you think.
If your heart is struggling and longing for companionship, here are some online communities that might be just what you’re looking for:
Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child (closed group)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/947404501987955
While We’re Waiting–Support for Bereaved Parents (closed group)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/WhileWereWaiting.SupportForBereavedParents
Our Hearts are Home Community (closed group)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1980308615670336
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