Love – Page 60 – thelifeididntchoose

The Importance of Silence: Holding Space so Hearts Can Speak

We do it all the time in the physical world-leave the shopping cart in line with the admonition to the person behind us to “hold our place” while we run to get that forgotten item.

We leave a gap for that minivan to pull in just where the construction cones narrow a highway from two lanes to one.

We open a door and step aside so the elderly lady with her hands full can manage to get through without dropping the load.

But most of us are not as good at it in relationships.

Read the rest here: Holding Space

George, Barbara and Robin: Child Loss, Love and a Lifetime of Service

I’m not a huge fan of the images of Heaven that feature people floating on clouds.

But I love this one.

Here’s why: Because it highlights the lifelong impact of child loss on a parent’s heart.

You can agree or disagree with his politics or her choice of service projects, but you can’t argue with the evidence of lives lived passionately committed to loving others and doing good in the world.

And I absolutely, positively believe that a huge part of what informed that passion was burying a child.

A heart that has endured such painful loss cannot remain unchanged.

Brokenness begets bountiful love if you let it.

And I believe the Bushes did just that.

I am thankful they are reunited-no more pain, no more suffering, no more waiting for redemption.

So I’ll hang onto this whimsical cartoon as a reminder to my heart that even as I wait, longing for the same, I can choose to live a life of loving service.

As long as I am here, I will reach out

reach down

reach across

to touch the hands and hearts of other hurting humans.

Thank you, George and Barbara, for your example.

Enjoy your reward. ❤

Advent of Kindness

Here’s a thought.

Why not make Christmas about spreading genuine love, grace and mercy instead of about finding the “perfect” gift for already over-flowing lives and living rooms?

I plan to implement this little calendar and hope to find even more ways to spread kindness this season.

I’ve printed one to carry in my purse and one to hang on the fridge. I gave some away to fellow church members who, in turn, are giving some away at work.

A cascade of kindness!

❤

Bringing You Along: Love Tokens

I keep it in my pocket-

an old trinket or a square of fabric or a small photo in a tiny frame.

A little bit of you to hold when I am overwhelmed.

Read the rest here:Love Tokens

All The Glory on the Ground

Fall doesn’t last long here in Alabama.

We have summer right through September most years and even into October on occasion.

This year was even shorter-hot, hot, hot, hot, cold!

But no matter how long or short the temperate days I have two or three trees I look for when the cold nights work their magic and the leaves turn bright.

I know I have to drink in their beauty as much as possible because it won’t last for more than a week. And that makes it all the more precious to me.

So I don’t rush by as I’m wont to other times of year. I slow down as I round the curve and gasp again at translucent gold lit bright against a pale blue sky.

One, two, three passes and then one day they’re gone.

A windy rain knocked every one to the earth.

All the glory on the ground.

And my heart notes once again that nothing in this life is forever.

Even the most beautiful and highly treasured things will fade and fall.

People too.

So don’t rush by.

Slow down and drink in the glory of family around the table, coffee with a friend, walks in your neighborhood, cuddles with the kids, hot chocolate around a campfire or the kitchen stove.

Nothing in this life is forever.

❤

Birthday Musings

Today I turn fifty-five.

Not old (not yet!) but hardly young.

My body sometimes tells me I’m older than dirt while my mind plays tricks and lures me into all kinds of childish pursuits.

Mornings I creak down the stairs, holding tightly to the handrail lest I step wrong and end up in a tumble at the bottom

Midday I’m out in the woods picking up interesting bits of nature that I bring inside and set on a shelf-I still ooh and aah over empty cicada shells and help stranded earthworms back into moist soil.

Mostly I kind of plod through time taking it moment by moment except when forced to look ahead and plan for the big things like holidays.

But some days I stop and take stock of the years gone by, the things I’ve done or not done and the things I wish were different.

Birthdays tend to make me do that. And since my birthday always falls near Thanksgiving, I usually add a list of things for which I’m grateful.

I will always be glad that I chose to pour my life into my family. All grown, we still weave our lives together across the miles and in spite of crazy schedules. I have never regretted for a single moment that the one great achievement that will outlive me is my children.

Except for the one I have outlived. And that is my heart’s greatest burden.

I am so thankful for a husband who has graciously provided for our family. I never wrangled a moment over grocery money or necessary homeschooling supplies. That is a gift! (And for his unending support for my crazy livestock lifestyle-here’s this year’s birthday present.)

I have the great privilege of the ongoing companionship of my own parents. We talk every. single. day. even though we are miles apart. These last months of health struggles and Hurricane Michael destruction have forged new links in the chain of love and compassion that bind us to one another.

I have a close circle of “I’ll come over in the middle of the night if you need me” friends. I remember being on the outside looking in for most of my high school years wondering if I would ever have a really, truly best friend. In these years since Dominic ran ahead, God has given me one of the desires of my heart and blessed me with just that kind of friendship.

I have a broader circle of parents that understand what it’s like to send a child ahead to Heaven. They are a safe place to offload comments and questions that the rest of the world would neither appreciate nor comprehend. So many have touched my heart with the right word at the right time. I am overwhelmed by the compassion, grace and kindness of this community.

I write. It helps my heart. And the truly amazing and surprising thing is it seems to help a few other hearts too. I am so thankful that three years ago I followed a prompting to compose that first timid and intimidating post. Now I can’t imagine a morning where I don’t get up in the wee hours to peck away at the keyboard.

Five years ago I celebrated my fiftieth birthday with all my children, my husband, parents and a crowd of friends.

Tonight the celebration will be a little quieter but very precious.

My fiftieth year was to be a jubilee of sorts-a culmination of so many dreams in our family and in my own life.

Instead it was the year we buried Dominic, in addition to the beautiful things we looked forward to.

I’ve stopped making predictions about what a year will bring. But I haven’t stopped looking forward to the good things I know are on the horizon.

This year our family will grow again and that is a great blessing.

So I wake and watch and wait.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Repost: Gratitude and Grieving

Gratitude does not undo grief.

There, I said it.

Gratitude is important. It is (in my opinion) a necessary ingredient for a healthy and hope-filled and useful life. It is the key to any real happiness a heart might find on this broken road.

But it cannot fill up the empty place where Dominic used to be.

Grief does not preclude gratitude.

Although some broken hearts swear it does.

Read the rest here: Gratitude and Grieving: Appreciating What I Have, Acknowledging What I Miss

Repost: Bridle Your Tongue

In this journey of loss I have been blessed and wounded by words.

I have been encouraged and disheartened by stray comments. I’ve been thrown a lifeline and pushed under the raging waves of grief by friends, family and acquaintances who often had no clue they were doing either.

Our words matter.

Our tongues have the power of life and death.

Read the rest here: Bridle your Tongue

Lessons From a Bear: Small Brain, Big Heart

I went to see the movie “Christopher Robin” awhile back.

I’ll be honest-it’s pretty much stock-in-trade standard Disney fare where things turn out well in the end.

Of course, I know that things DON’T always turn out well.

In fact, they can turn out very, very badly.

Awful, in fact.

But Pooh helped Christopher remember what was really important.

And it’s not money or houses or anything else you can buy in a store or online.

It’s people.

Living souls are unique creations, singular blessings, unrepeatable gifts and they deserve my time and attention.

Because no matter how cherished or expensive, everything else can be replaced.

The Value of Veterans

I am the proud daughter of a military veteran.

I am the beaming mother of a son who served and the aunt of a nephew currently serving.

And while others argue about why and where we send troops and fight wars, I pray that wherever they go and whatever they do, they return home safely.

It’s fitting that we set aside a day to honor those who choose to place their lives on the line to fight for love and country and freedom.

Because they do, I can rest secure in my own bed under my own roof.

Growing up surrounded by (mostly) men in military uniform, I learned early the difference between an acceptable salute and a sloppy one, between “Attention!” and “At ease!”, between a captain and a colonel.

I still stand a little taller and walk a little straighter whenever I’m on base. Habits of a lifetime are hard to undo.

I will never, ever apologize for the life of service and sacrifice my father and son lived and my nephew is living regardless of whatever politics may scroll across our newsfeeds.

I will honor the living, honor the dead and honor the families that support them.

Don’t let this day pass by without considering the cost of the freedom we enjoy every single day and the men and women who fought and still fight to secure it.

Right, left, middle of the road-your first amendment rights are safe because they are willing to serve.

We mustn’t forget.

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