thelifeididntchoose

I didn’t choose this life.  I didn’t choose to become a bereaved mother–a mama mourning the too-soon loss of one of her precious children.  But God, in His wisdom, has chosen this life for me.  This blog is a peek into my heart.

I am a journal keeping, Scripture reading, favorite verse copying woman.  In the three and a half years before Dominic’s death, I had slowed my Bible reading to a crawl–limiting myself to one chapter a day and writing it out in my journal.  After decades of church attendance, I realized that the stories had become too easy to rush through, the verses too familiar to resonate deeply in my spirit. So I had just finished my journey through God’s Word in this way when my son was killed.

It was obvious to me that God had been preparing my heart for that awful moment for three and a half years!  In His mercy and grace I had no clue.  No premonitions.  No idea that one Saturday morning I would wake to the news that my child had died instantly.

I am trying to be as honest as my heart allows.  I want others to see both the pain of loss and the faithfulness of God in the midst of loss.

I will not minimize the darkness.  Because light shines brightest in darkness.