Love Tokens

missing-someone

I keep it in my pocket-  

an old trinket or a square of fabric or a small photo in a tiny frame.

heart and wood

A little bit of you to hold when I am overwhelmed.

It’s my touchstone, my way of shutting out the world for just a moment –tuning in to love and holding on to hope.

I hold you near so that I can hold on.

No one ever knows how close I come to shouting, “I can’t do this anymore!”

Because I never do.

shameNo one hears the pieces of my shattered heart fall to the floor.

Because only those who share this pain have ears to hear.

just-breatheNo one is aware of my counting breaths-in and out, in and out-just so I can stay in my chair.

Because I never run away.

 

 

 

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

11 thoughts on “Love Tokens”

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  6. Melanie you are so very strong and brave, especially sharing your innermost feelings. We are all strong just being able to live and breathe through every next minute…..its maybe our greatest achievement next to raising our kids ….especially since no one sees us being so strong when all we want to do is crumble… “the strongest person in the world is a grieving mother who gets up and keeps going every morning ” (Tara Watkins Anderson)…. and you’re certainly not a cracked pot…our hearts are shattered and our cracks will always be there…. and we’re allowed to let them show. We’ve “earned” that right.

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  7. It’s okay to let your weakness show – the Holy Spirit shines through the cracks of the outward facade and others see and are drawn to Christ. Thank you for your authenticity and for allowing your vulnerability to show! There is beauty in brokenness. You are beautiful, Melanie! Others see Jesus in and through you. Hugs to you!

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