Life Is A Gift: Celebrate!!

There will be plenty of frustrating moments, plenty of fearful moments and plenty of just plain ordinary moments during this unprecedented worldwide season of slowing down.

But there can be beautiful moments too. There are hidden blessings in this forced family togetherness.

Practice finding them, practice making them, practice wrapping them up in love and grace.

If you’ve been waiting for an excuse to get the best plates down from the top shelf I’d say today’s the day!

Make some memories.

❤ Melanie

I have never been a crystal and china kind of gal.

I got a few special pieces when my husband and I married, but most of the things in my home are durable and useful.

So I don’t have many things tucked away for special occasions.

I’m glad that when my kids were young we made even ordinary days special.

Read the rest herehttps://thelifeididntchoose.com/2019/03/31/life-is-a-gift-celebrate-every-single-day/

Of Child Loss, Pandemics and Panic

Child loss has changed me in ways that continue to unfold even years later.

As pandemic and panic sweep the world, my heart has been both more anxious and less anxious at precisely the same moment.

I’ve experienced more generalized dread and unease fed by media frenzy, friends’ posts and comments and the other-worldly photos of empty streets in big cities and families hanging out balcony windows in Italy and Spain.

Coronavirus: Quarantined Italians sing their hearts out. It's ...

Trauma from sudden death has left its mark and societal panic is is ripping open the wound.

The thin layer that protects my heart most days is wearing thinner.

When the thing you think won’t happen DOES happen, you simply can’t find solace in platitudes or pithy prayers or puny human promises that “every little thing will be all right”.

Image may contain: meme, possible text that says 'Did you know? FEELING LIKE YOUR GRIEF HAS WORSENED WITH THE PANDEMIC IS #PERFECTLYNORMAL'

In a perverse twist, knowing the worst HAS happened, makes me less apprehensive about the future.

I’ve given up the idea that protection is guaranteed by doing all the right things or following all the rules or obeying every law.

Oh, we still do all that!

We are washing our hands, practicing social distancing and limiting necessary trips to anywhere. But my faith is not in any of those things to necessarily keep this silent, creeping evil from my doorstep.

Some might call it defeatist.

I call it reality.

The hours of each day are filled balancing these two opposite but very much connected feelings. Sometimes I want to crawl out of my skin or run as far and as fast as I can. Sometimes I just sit, waiting for whatever might happen TO happen.

The anniversary of Dominic’s death is less than two weeks away so all THIS is layered on top of THAT.

Honestly, it’s exhausting and I wake most mornings already worn out.

Almost six years has taught me the world doesn’t stop spinning and the rising sun won’t wait.

So here I am.

Again.

Battling Anxiety/Seeking Peace: A Stout Heart

It’s hard to wait.

It’s harder to rest patiently for something you desperately want .

That’s why children shake the presents under the Christmas tree and grown-ups dip into their savings.

It’s also why we so often doubt that God has things under control.

When circumstances require sacrifice I want the Lord to step in and fix them. I want my omnipotent God to use a little of that power to make my life more bearable. And when He doesn’t, I’m more likely to call His character into question than to doubt my own motives.

Psalm 27 helps turn my heart back to truth:

13 [What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living!

14 Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14 AMPC

Other versions render the first part of verse 13 like this: “I would have fainted” or “I would have lost heart” or “I would have despaired”.

Hope is a powerful thing.

Often it’s the thread a heart holds onto when everything else falls away.

And while I am absolutely looking forward to God’s ultimate victorious remaking of this world into the perfect and beautiful place He always intended it to be, I am also confident He will continue to work in me and through me to redeem parts of it even here, even now.

Lots of hearts are impatient with our current situation.

Life has been upended. Retirement accounts depleted. Jobs disappeared. School closings and no big graduations. Plans made for months wiped out by government decree. We are stuck at home eating from pantries and refrigerators full of things that may be nutritious but which don’t quite fulfill our appetites.

It’s frustrating.

Why Frustration And Anxiety Make You Fat | Mindset for Success

I know it’s scary right now. I realize that it might look to some as if God has taken a step back or is not paying attention at all. But that’s simply not true. He is still in control. His plans cannot be thwarted. This is NOT the end.

When we stop expecting God to move, we stop listening to His voice, paying attention to His direction and following His Word.

What I’ve got to do is wait.

Not wait in defeat but wait in expectation!

Because I know my God IS moving I can look toward the future with confident assurance that He is going to work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Endurance IS the victory!

Sometimes it’s only a matter of standing my ground, declaring the truth and refusing to give way to the enemy of my soul. I am undefeated as long as I hold fast to the hope I have in Christ Jesus.

Fear can only make a home in my heart if I allow it. Faith is the bulwark against that invasion.

Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on him who has all things safely in his hands.

Elisabeth Elliot

QUESTIONS:

  1. What is your greatest struggle/fear/frustration right now with the coronavirus situation? Can you rewrite it in terms of what you wish God or the government or someone would do to fix it?
  2. How might patience erase some of your anxiety?
  3. Do you think God has abandoned you (us) in this crisis? Why or why not?
  4. If you have children, are there times when you simply can’t give them an adequate explanation they can understand yet insist they obey or endure? Can you apply that same truth to yourself and your Heavenly Father?
  5. Are you confident you will see God’s goodness “in the land of the living” or do you only hope for His goodness in Heaven? Why ?
  6. I use verses like these and quotes like the one from Elisabeth Elliot to help MY heart hold onto hope. How do you help your heart hold onto hope?
  7. The Bible says that the enemy comes only to “steal, kill and destroy”-he will steal your peace if you let him, he will kill hope in your soul if you listen to his whispered lies that God has abandoned you and he will destroy your confident assurance that Jesus loves you if he can turn your heart and mind to focus on circumstances instead of on the truth found in God’s Word. What practical steps can you take TODAY to shut him out, stop listening to his lies and turn your heart and mind to TRUTH?

PRAYER:

Father God,

These are frightening times.

They are unprecedented times for a world used to flying here and there, running out to the store or a restaurant whenever we want to, having freedom to come and go as we please. Now we are being asked to stay in with the families we created but don’t always get along with. We are told that the things we touch-door handles, cans of food on store shelves, random things everywhere -may be sources of danger.

An invisible enemy is stalking us and we feel defenseless. And yet we are not defenseless because You are still on the Throne.

You are still in control.

Nothing is going to happen to me today that You can’t handle. Help me hold onto the promise that in sickness and in health, You are with me. In times of plenty and times of scarcity, You are with me. You have not abandoned me.

Make my heart stout and steadfast. Don’t let me faint. Help me wait patiently and expectantly for You in the midst of this mess.

Be my strength, be my bravery.

Amen

Trust Me, You Don’t Want To Lose Someone You Love In This Crisis.

I don’t often pull the “you never know if today may be the last day for someone you love” card.

But I’m going to do it now.

People. Just stop.

stop-sign-nh.jpg | Environmental Health and Safety | Oregon State ...

Your need for a latte does not trump the necessity to stay away from potential sources of infection. Your need to socialize with friends because you “just can’t stand to sit inside one more minute” is not an excuse for ignoring requests from health care professionals to stay home.

Your careless and carefree attitude is putting others at risk.

It’s entirely possible that if or when you contract Covid19 it’s no more than a miserable two weeks. But it’s also entirely possible that the person you give it to might die.

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Trust me, you don’t want to be the one who brought it home to your mama, your daddy, your spouse or your child.

There is nothing easy about watching someone you love suffer. It’s even harder to be forbidden from sitting next to his or her bedside, holding a hand, wiping a fevered forehead.

Dominic died almost six years ago. It is no easier on my heart this minute than it was then.

This is not a joke, not overblown, not a government conspiracy or a hoax perpetrated by whomever you think might do such a thing.

Do you love your family and friends?

REALLY love them?

If you do, then STAY HOME!

Stay home if you can to help America contain coronavirus, save lives.

For those of you (like two of my children) who perform essential work during this crisis, thank you.

And may God place a hedge of protection around you and those you love.

Image result for psalm 91 hedge of protection | Hedge of ...

Repost: In Love’s Service Only Wounded Soldiers Will Do

I wrote this last year around this time. I was planning my daughter’s wedding and coming off an extremely stress-filled and difficult year.

Little did I know more wounding was in store.

And now we find ourselves collectively fearful of an invisible enemy. We are holding our breath, waiting to see what the worst will be.

In this hour of need, we wounded soldiers have something to offer our frightened friends and neighbors. Suffering well gives us authority to offer true compassion and genuine love.

Let’s be the light.

❤ Melanie

So often we hide our wounds.

Sometimes it’s because others have shamed us into covering up.  Sometimes it’s because our hearts have been stomped on by folks who might mean well but really don’t understand what it’s like to live every day with a messy and unfinished story.

But there’s no shame in being broken. 

Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2019/03/27/in-loves-service-only-wounded-soldiers-will-do/

Welcome To My World

Many of you are waking up each day and facing a world you don’t recognize.

I’ve been doing this for over half a decade.

Almost six years ago my family’s world was shaken in much the same way everyone’s world is being shaken today.

It was precisely as disruptive, unthinkable, even more tragic and there was not one thing we could do to change it except live through it.

Image may contain: outdoor, possible text that says '"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring Pellowe TALK'

I know thousands of bereaved parents and surviving siblings who have learned to live in the time they are given.

If you want to know how to face this crisis with courage, ask them. 

It's Only Natural

Whether surrounded by friends or strangers, I sift through the words threatening to fly out of my mouth very carefully.

Like most of us, there’s a script in my head that doesn’t always bear sharing.

But unlike many, part of my script involves a child that lives in Heaven.

And I’m constantly weighing whether or not I should mention him even though the conversation leads my heart to a memory I very much want to speak aloud.  It often makes others uncomfortable, awkward and upset when I do.  So sometimes I just don’t.

I hate that I edit myself like that.

Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2019/03/24/only-natural/