It’s been twenty years since the Towers fell. Hard to believe-no matter how great the tragedy, life goes on.
Like many, I was watching things as they happened that day.
My husband, an architect and engineer, saw the wobble in the first tower and knew, he knew, it was going to collapse. Horrified I began to understand that whoever was still in that building was running out of time.
And I cried, oh, how I cried. It was awful.
Since then I’ve lived my own tragedy.
My son was unexpectedly and instantly taken from us in an accident.
So when I’m reminded of 9/11 my heart takes me right to those left behind.
And while politicians and pundits can debate the reasons for the attack, can argue about what could have been done, should have been done and why and when-they can never answer the real question in the heart of every family who buried a loved one because of the events of that day.
Why MY husband, wife, daughter, son? How do I make sense of this senseless tragedy?
The answer is, “You can’t.”
You cannot know why one person chose to go this way and lived and another went a different direction and died. It’s impossible to understand the series of events that made someone late for work that day but lead another to show up early.
Last minute travel plan changes saved some from being aboard the fateful planes and put others in a seat.
I can’t know exactly why my son lost control of his motorcycle that night. I will live the rest of my life without an answer to that question.
It’s an ongoing challenge to face the discomfort of things NOT making sense. It goes against human nature to acknowledge that the world is far less predictable than we like to believe.
It takes courage to greet each new day with knowledge that ANYTHING might happen-not only beautiful and wonderful things, but ugly and awful things as well.
If I let my heart dwell on the questions of “why?” and “control”, I am paralyzed, unable to take another step.
There’s no clear path through a world filled with the rubble of broken lives and broken people.
So I turn my heart toward Christ and His promise to never leave or forsake me.
And I am emboldened to take the next step because I know He is already there, even in the dark.
3 thoughts on “Learning To Live With Unanswered Questions”
I try so hard not to live in the why. My daughter was 25. Her son just turned 4. It’s been 9 months today that she was in the car accident and died on impact. Why did she pull out ? Did she not see the Tahoe or did her car stall? These questions haunt me, it doesn’t matter cause she’s still gone. I’ve accepted that they won’t be answered this side of heaven and when I see her beautiful face, none of it will matter. I hold on to Hope, a Hope that doesn’t disappoint! But my heart aches for her.
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I seem only to be able to make sense of the moment these days. Even then, I have known for the next day, that ‘moment’ could turn out to have been senseless.
At times I feel totally confused. I know my life is thousands of times better than more than half the world’s population. I used to think I had a good grasp of things. Now I firmly believe I have no blasted idea!
God gave me a positive head thank goodness so I live in hope in Him xxx
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