Today is forty years since we said, “I do” and had absolutely NO idea what that would look like.
I first shared this a few years ago on our anniversary because I wanted other bereaved parents to know that while it is hard (and isn’t marriage always hard?), it is not impossible for a marriage to survive child loss.
We are definitely not the perfect couple. We fuss and we struggle. We sometimes retreat into our own separate worlds as we process some new aspect of living this earthly life without one of our children.
But we have learned that we are stronger together and that we are willing to do the work necessary to stay that way.❤
Today my husband and I celebrate 40 years of marriage.
Our thirtieth anniversary was a mere two months after we buried our son.
Here’s the last “before” anniversary photo (2013)-unfeigned smiles, genuine joy, excitement to have made it that far:
It happens in all kinds of ways. One friend just slowly backs off from liking posts on Facebook, waves at a distance from across the sanctuary, stops texting to check up on me.
Another observes complete radio silence as soon as she walks away from the graveside.
Still another hangs in for a few weeks-calls, texts, even invites me to lunch until I can see in her eyes that my lack of “progress” is making her uneasy. Then she, too, falls off the grid.
I was just made aware of an excellent new resource for grieving parents available free today and tomorrow for Kindle. I wanted others to be able to take advantage of this offer.
I haven’t read it, but trust my friend, Jill Emmelhainz’s review:
“I’ve read an advance copy of this book. I wish this had been available when our son died 9 years ago. No platitudes, no sugary counselor-speak. Examples and experiences from other bereaved parents in short simple sections. Kindle version is fr*e today and tomorrow. Paperback version releases next week.”
thelifeididntchoose 