Often a new year means taking stock of the previous twelve months and making adjustments for the next twelve.
When I comb back through my memories I try to notice where I struggled and where I soared. I want to learn from the things that worked and the things that didn’t. And I almost always find relationships top the list of where I need to make changes.
Grief is tough on friendships.
Not everyone can or will stick around while broken hearts work hard to put the pieces back together.
I miss some of the people I thought would still be here and, if I allow myself to do it, can invest too much of the precious and limited emotional energy I have left this side of child loss in being angry, bitter or just plain disappointed.
But that is unhelpful.
So instead I began to think about WHY some friends abandon grievers.
Here’s what I think: Why Friends Abandon Grievers
It’s been a long year.
And an even longer last three months.
I can tell the stress is easing, the burden lifting and the clouds parting. But carrying the load for so long has caught up to me.
And I think I’ve finally reached the end of any reserve energy I may have had.
I try hard to write original material most days and there’s a backlog of over 1000 blog post drafts I can draw from but I just don’t have it in me today.
So here’s another repost of a popular blog from earlier this year:
“It happens in all kinds of ways. One friend just slowly backs off from liking posts on Facebook, waves at a distance from across the sanctuary, stops texting to check up on me.
Another observes complete radio silence as soon as she walks away from the graveside.
Still another hangs in for a few weeks-calls, texts, even invites me to lunch until I can see in her eyes that my lack of “progress” is making her uneasy. Then she, too, falls off the grid.
Why do people do that?
Why is it, when we need them most, many friends-and I mean really, truly FRIENDS–just can’t hang in and hold on?”
Read the rest here: Why Friends Abandon Grievers