“Stages of Grief”? Not Really.

In all fairness, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross never intended her book, “On Death and Dying” to be adopted as a proscriptive model for walking hearts through grief.

It was a compilation of observations and interviews with those who were facing death or actively dying not a study of those left behind to mourn.

Sadly, however, it’s been used as a standard to measure grievers’ “progress” for decades.

It’s time to let it go.

Ever since Elizabeth Kubler Ross published her best-selling book, “On Death and Dying” both professionals and laypersons have embraced her explanation of the “five stages of grief”.  

The model has been used as a faulty standard to measure grievers’ “progress” for decades.

Trouble is, she got it wrong.

Read the rest here: Stages of Grief ? Nope.

Grief: “Acceptance” Isn’t A Stage, It’s a Lifetime

In all fairness, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross had no idea her research would be taken out of context and plastered across professional literature and media outlets as a definitive explanation for the grief experience.

But she didn’t mind the notoriety.

And ever since, counselors, pastors, laypersons and the general public have come to expect folks to politely follow the five (sometimes described as six) stages of grief up and out of brokenness like a ladder to success.

It doesn’t work that way.

Sometimes those that walk alongside the bereaved are biding time, waiting for that “final” stage of grief: Acceptance.

And some therapists, counselors and armchair psychiatrists are certain that if the grieving mother can simply accept the death of her child, she can move on–that she can get back to a more “normal” life.

But this notion is as ridiculous as imagining that welcoming a new baby into a household doesn’t change everything.

And new parents have months to prepare.

Read the rest here: Loving well: Understanding “Acceptance”

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