Spent

This actually happened one day last week and I was too ashamed to post it.  I’m better now.  But it took three days to recover from that emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual low point.

It required that I extend the grace to myself I would extend to another.

That’s actually harder than it sounds for someone who prefers to think of herself as the “good girl”  and the “strong one”.

There’s only so much a body can take in a day.  And I’ve reached the limit.

Comfort-For-Those-Grieving-Alone

Started out pretty good-up with the chickens and settled into my rocking chair with a cup of coffee and my journal.

 

But it didn’t last.  First one thing and then another-unexpected, unwelcome, uncomfortable-life just comes flying and all I can do is hang on.

Hamster hangs on a rope

Emotions run wild.  Frustration reigns.

Why can’t things go like they are supposed to???

I am just so. very. tired.  So very tired of dragging my heart through another day.  

dragging heart

I’m trying to find the happy in this mess.

It’s hard.

I’m trying to look on the bright side.

I can’t.

I think I’ve reached my quota for today.

Image result for image bed

 

I don’t care if it is only noon.

I‘m going to bed.

 

Maybe tomorrow will be better.  

 

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

9 thoughts on “Spent”

  1. I’m so thankful that you are genuine, transparent. We all have days that we struggle to get through, when that waves or at times tsunami of grief knock us over. It’s so important to be honest in your journey, no matter how ashamed we might feel. You just never know how it may help someone else to know that they’re not alone! Thank you for sharing your heart!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Stephanie-I hate that others share this pain but it helps to know I’m understood. May the Lord encourage your heart today as you have encouraged mine.

      Like

  2. so. very. tired. is the best description of how we feel. When you are exhausted before the day even begins it is hard to make it through some of them. Again, thank you for your honesty and transparency. As Karie said, it really helps to know we are not alone. Hoping today is one of the better ones for all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. No shame, Melanie! We all feel this way…in fact, putting words to those feelings helps me know I’m not alone. I like how you talk about dragging your heart through another day. That is so so so true! The other night, I went to bed at 7:30-I was so tired. My husband asked me why I went to bed so early, and my response was, “I needed the day to finally end.”

    Liked by 2 people

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