I Will Not Be Ashamed of My Tears!

It happens when I least expect it.

I try hard to manage life so that I’m not blindsided by grief-that I don’t find myself in the middle of people when I can be sure some trigger will start the flow of tears

But you can’t prepare for what you have no way to predict.

So even three years down the path of child loss, there are times I am overwhelmed by a wave of grief and cannot stop the tears.

ann voskamp love will always cost you grief

I used to try to hide them.  I don’t anymore.

I will not be ashamed of my tears.

They are proof of my love.

They are evidence of a heart that refuses to grow cold, hard or bitter even though the frost of death has blown hard across it.

They are testimony to the promise that God is collecting them in His bottle and that one day all this will be redeemed and restored.

you keep track of all my tears

I will wear them as a badge of honor until I see Dominic again.

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

6 thoughts on “I Will Not Be Ashamed of My Tears!”

  1. I was thinking of you yesterday, Melanie, while I sang during Resurrection Sunday services. With the time difference, I knew you were probably out of church already and I wondered how you did. It is an honor to worship and sing praises to God with tears of joy and sorrow sliding down one’s face. He is worthy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Melanie, I resonate so strongly with your words, always. Thank you for your faithfulness in writing your blog. I know that you have just passed your three year anniversary of losing Dominic, and I have thought about you a lot recently. You and your family are in my prayers. You have written about the darkness of child loss; that has stuck with me, because it is so true. However, I am so thankful that we have the Light of the World to help us navigate this path! God bless you on the journey.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you for saying what needs to be said, tears are flowing as I read your words! My son died 6 years ago and my tears are precious because God says so. I will not hide them, sometimes I do not know where they come from and I can’t say what triggers them always. If I had no tears, my heart would die!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I own my tears too x our children were here, they need to be remembered and celebrated and their names called out ♡ in times of happiness, sadness and everything in between


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