I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.
View all posts by Melanie
Although this was not our experience, I am thankful to hear of parents whose friends and family stayed by them and supported them following the death of a child. I have written often about feeling so alone following Jason’s death. I have generally come to the following conclusion: Just as people who have not lost a child don’t really know what it’s like to lose a child, so a bereaved parent who has had adequate support from friends and family and was not deserted following the death of a child really doesn’t know what it’s like to have so many friends and family disappear, people you thought you could count on, and to be feel so very alone. It is my fervent wish that all bereaved parents have that true friend that will pull up a chair, pour a cup of coffee and just be present during difficult times.
I am so very sorry for the way folks deserted you, Rebecca. I appreciate that you have shared openly about how that felt and how it impacted you and your family.
You’re right-folks who were well-supported can’t fully understand what that feels like.
I had a couple of very special friends that stood by me. I also had dozens who ran away-some I would have sworn would never do that. So I guess I had a bit of both. ❤
When our 32 year old son was struggling with addiction not too long before his death, someone whom I considered to be a friend for over thirty years said, “We cannot be friends anymore; your life is just too hard.”
It broke my heart.
I blamed my son’s behavior for the loss of her friendship.
Prior to his death, he apologized and sought my forgiveness “for causing me to lose my best friend, “ but he added, “You know, Mom, if she really were your best friend, she never would have abandoned the relationship.” And you know, he was correct.
“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
thelifeididntchoose 
Although this was not our experience, I am thankful to hear of parents whose friends and family stayed by them and supported them following the death of a child. I have written often about feeling so alone following Jason’s death. I have generally come to the following conclusion: Just as people who have not lost a child don’t really know what it’s like to lose a child, so a bereaved parent who has had adequate support from friends and family and was not deserted following the death of a child really doesn’t know what it’s like to have so many friends and family disappear, people you thought you could count on, and to be feel so very alone. It is my fervent wish that all bereaved parents have that true friend that will pull up a chair, pour a cup of coffee and just be present during difficult times.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am so very sorry for the way folks deserted you, Rebecca. I appreciate that you have shared openly about how that felt and how it impacted you and your family.
You’re right-folks who were well-supported can’t fully understand what that feels like.
I had a couple of very special friends that stood by me. I also had dozens who ran away-some I would have sworn would never do that. So I guess I had a bit of both. ❤
LikeLike
When our 32 year old son was struggling with addiction not too long before his death, someone whom I considered to be a friend for over thirty years said, “We cannot be friends anymore; your life is just too hard.”
It broke my heart.
I blamed my son’s behavior for the loss of her friendship.
Prior to his death, he apologized and sought my forgiveness “for causing me to lose my best friend, “ but he added, “You know, Mom, if she really were your best friend, she never would have abandoned the relationship.” And you know, he was correct.
“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
LikeLike