Change of Plans

So I had made a sort of peace with a 2020 Christmas.

Not being with my dad. Not traveling to see my grandson. My daughter working the holiday, saving folks from Covid and themselves.

Keeping things small and as safe as possible.

The three of us at home had thought up some fun culinary treats and planned on munching in front of a roaring fire.

And then there was a change of plans.

I woke up on Christmas Eve to a massive lower GI bleed and I knew what that meant: a trip to the ER and transfer to hospital. Yippee!

Not at all how I was planning to spend Christmas.

But my scale of awful is so much worse than disappointment and I’m thankful for modern medicine that ensures I can recover.

I escaped needing a transfusion by a small margin.

I’m tired from too little sleep, too few red blood cells and very little food but I am home after just 48 hours!!!

My tree will stay up and presents wrapped until schedules permit the limited family gathering we had hoped for earlier.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this Valley it’s that only death can’t be undone.

In the meantime I’m getting used to letting others do most of the chores around here and trying to occupy myself with lap projects as my body rebuilds.

This Christmas was hard on a lot of hearts.

And New Year’s is around the corner, reminding us that even when we want to, we can’t stop the earth from turning and time marching on.

I pray that if you, like me, were forced to face additional challenges this season you feel the Father’s loving arms around you and that you find the strength to hold onto hope.

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

24 thoughts on “Change of Plans”

  1. So glad you are on the mend. A massive lower GI bleed is not a minor thing though. ( I’m a health professional so I know how serious this can be.) Please take all the time you need to recover. I, too, have had some major health events in the last two years, and to get me through the treatments I would say a mantra to myself that “nothing is worse than death, especially the death of a child”. As you said, “only death cannot be undone”.
    And so we have learned to adapt to all the changes that have come in the 5 years since Jordan went on ahead of us. Sending you blessings and get well wishes. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Our pastor talked about life’s interruptions this past week as we make plans for 2021. His life was “interrupted” by a kidney stone in February that later revealed cancer. 2020 has held numerous challenges for all of us. As my husband and I recover from the Rona, we thank God for our own health, my family’s health, the periodic gatherings and the way we CAN connect and uphold each other in prayer regardless of our location. I pray for you, sweet sister, and your family as we do look forward to a new year and new ways to grow closer to our Father.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh Melanie! So sorry everything unfolded the way it did but s you and I know, we’ve had worse Christmas’s…these events pale in comparison to Christmas 6 years ago…I pray you have aspeedy recovery and continue letting others help YOU! Not sure is you heard the Lord whisper “Slow down” I think I did. 🙂 Best wishes for Happy & Healthy 2021!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, much worse Christmases, my sweet sister in loss. I am definitely slowing down. Very thankful for the prayers and for family who are helping me while I recover. ❤


  4. So good to hear you are home and on the mend Melanie, I had been wondering how you were. My God keep you in His protective embrace while you become stronger.
    May the light of Christ and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit keep you safe.


  5. Melanie, I’m sorry to hear your news. Rest, recover and heal. That’s one thing we’ve learned to do well when you have a child in the hospital for months on end, holidays are small and can even be celebrated in a hospital room. It’s the love you surround yourself with that matters. Hugs and strength as you heal. Nancy, Dale’s mama

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Melanie,
    Praying for a quick recovery and peace to let others help while you recover. Your words have also been an encouragement to me since our daughter passed 5 years ago. My days of tears are less, but the hole in my remains, and will till we are in heaven together again. Our family has found blessing in our gtandson, even with limited contact. We see him at the front door, outside spaced away, and on the phone. He cannot get sick due to lung issues he was born early. He gives us joy hear on earth. As for change of plans, that has been a regular occurrance since Dana passed. One day at a time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you dear one. I’m glad you have found ways to connect to your grandson in these crazy days. I pray the Lord continues to give you the strength and grace your heart needs to hold onto hope. ❤


  7. Oh Melanie, that really really stinks. I am glad you are ok and pray for God speed recovery. I spent the last 5 months in and out of the hospital with my son so when I read this it brought those anxious feelings up. As you said thank God for modern medicine. I wish it was able to save my son 😥💔. I hope you can enjoy a Christmas celebration with your fam soon

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know what you mean. For us it was the last 8 months, and that was after a ‘lull’ of over 2 years. That’s one thing I learned from all of this, you never know what can occur. Spent every holiday in the hospital or just recovering, many were very small or low key. Hugs to recover from those trigger memories. Dale’s mama.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m so sorry for your pain and loss, sweet mama! There is no good way to lose a child and we each carry our own secret package of memories. I pray the Lord wraps His loving arms around you and gives you grace for each new day. ❤


    1. Oh Melanie, I pray you are doing well. I, too, ended up at the ER with a GI bleed on Christmas Eve. I want you to know how much your articles have helped me since the loss of my son, my only child, 2 1/2 years ago. I thank you, and I will keep you in my prayers.

      Liked by 1 person

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