Grief Has Changed Me

Grief has changed me in profound ways.

“Thoughtfulness” is one of them.

I was always (mostly!) outwardly thoughtful. I wrote thank you notes, brought hostess gifts, remembered birthdays, anniversaries and other important dates in the lives of friends and family.

But I wasn’t always as attentive to or aware of subtle and significant cues others might have been tossing in my direction.

Now I’m especially careful to pay attention and try to make space for things folks need or want to say, to be a safe person for the deposit of feelings or secrets that are too heavy to carry alone and I try, try, try to leave each heart better than how I found them.

I’ve had to examine so much in my own life and heart I never want to give the impression others aren’t free to do the same.

❤ Melanie

2016: Priorities

How many times have I chosen to ignore a friend’s need for companionship-brushing past importantly as I pursued the day’s tasks?

“I’ll get around to it when I have more time,” I think to myself.

And then one day there is no more time.  The friend I kept putting off has left this world for the next and I can’t retrieve the missed opportunities.

Nothing stings like words unsaid, hugs not given or love left bound in a heart instead of set free to bless another.

Read the rest here: Priorities

2017: What Does Faith Really Look Like?

Is faith always a never-faltering, wild “Hallelujah!”?

I don’t think so.

Read the rest here: What Does Faith Really Look Like?

2018: Silence Is a Gift

Every morning I get up, make coffee, sit down and drink in the quiet with my caffeine.  I listen for a bit and then write down what I hear my heart saying.  It has been the most effective habit for helping me walk through this Valley in the four years since Dominic left us.

Silence is necessary for a heart to do the work grief requires.

Don’t fight it.

Read the rest here: Silence is a Gift

2019: The God Who Comes Near

If someone asked me to describe Jesus I would say He’s the God who does not turn away.

He’s the God who comes near.

He’s the God who will always, always, always show up and bend down.

Read the rest here: Scripture Journal Challenge: The God Who Comes Near

2020: Helpful Advice on What Not to Say to a Grieving Parent

This came across my Facebook newsfeed and I really liked it.  

Concise,  it also acknowledges that most bereaved parents understand folks generally mean well, even when they say something less than helpful.

Honestly, this is great advice for what not to say to anyone going through a tough patch. 

Read the rest here: Helpful Advice on What Not to Say to a Grieving Parent