Choosing to Be a Lighthouse

There are two ways to deal with the scars pain leaves behind: try to cover them up or display them boldly.

Hiding seems the easier way so many times-because the scars are tender and the last thing I want is to invite more pain.  But it takes great effort and is rarely successful.

The edges peek out here and there and then I’m left awkwardly trying to explain how I got them and what they mean.

If I refuse to hide my scars and instead lay them open to the world, I am vulnerable, true. But I am also in a position to help others who are suffering the same pain that etched those scars in my heart.




So I choose not to hide.  

I choose to be a lighthouse.  



Not because I think I can steer others clear of the rocks of loss and sorrow, but because I want them to know they are not alone.

the scars you share become lighthouses




Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

10 thoughts on “Choosing to Be a Lighthouse”

  1. I agree if we are bare and vulnerable w our pain it can help more people in ways we will never know. We never know what will be used to glorify God. Sometimes I am surprised when I am healed or soothed in this process. God has all this covered also He will reveal to us the right moment and person to open up to. I love the thought that I am nestled in the Fathers arms with His grace poured upon me, I am drenched in His love, and comforted by His hands. Only He can soothe my ache and soften my scars. Thank you Melanie. Ann

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, Ann. I have often found myself being open with someone I would have never imagined telling of my pain-it does seem to be a ‘God-thing’. Healing does flow both ways. God has used people of very different backgrounds and experience to help me on my journey. I think, in a way, it’s reclaiming as believers in Christ part of what was lost in the Garden-Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed yet we walk around covered and shamed and fearful. (I’m not advocating public nudity-but openness in relationships 🙂 ) Praying we can all choose authenticity more often.


  2. Thank you for this post—-I need to remember that I don’t need to hide my heartache and that maybe people will understand me better if I let my true self be known.


    1. I can tell you from experience that there are certain people who will not understand no matter what you do, but there are many who will try to understand if you let your true self be known. It takes less energy in the end and is oh, so much healthier! I pray that you will have the courage to choose authenticity, even when it’s scary.


  3. I agree, that it does make us more vulnerable. It can also be quite humbling, to go ‘public’ with our pain and deepest heartache. In the long run, however, I believe we will be glad we did. Trusting the Lord in all of it. (((HUGS)))


    1. Yes, Jude-it really boils down to trust, doesn’t it? All of it is summed up in whether or not we trust the Lord to guide us and use us. I want to be authentic and have Him use this pain for His glory. ❤


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