Day Seventeen of Kathleen Duncan’s June 1-30 challenge.
The prompt: Write a Haiku (Seventeen Syllables)
It was an interesting challenge to distill a message to just 17 syllables.
I have long believed that each life is also a song.
This is mine:
I am a song bird.
I sing love, grace, mercy, peace-
I learned the hard way.
“You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Psalm 23:5b
I remember standing in our field with my husband at sundown one day, thankfulness and grace and mercy and wonder flooding my heart-and I whispered, “surely my cup overflows!”
Surely, God’s hand is in this, is on our lives-He has brought us to this place of blessing.
And that’s how I used to always think of that verse-the cup overflowing with goodness and blessing.
But what about when the cup overflows with sorrow?
With pain?
With tragedy, trials and temptations?
Jesus knew about that cup. That’s the cup He begged the Father to take from Him.
The cup that was bitter and hard to swallow.
He prayed three times, He sweat blood and He battled His flesh so that His spirit could conform to the Father’s will.
And in the end, He submitted Himself to the Father’s plan.
He was obedient, even to death, even to death that He did not deserve, did not HAVE to suffer, did not WANT to suffer.
I have buried a son.
And it is the most painful thing I have ever had to bear.
It’s a burden I never anticipated and it’s a burden of which I will not be free until I join him in Heaven.
There are some parents who have suffered the loss of multiple children. Or who have suffered child loss and other difficult life circumstances.
If my cup is full and overflowing, theirs is overflowing still more.
Where to take that full cup?
Where to find the strength to carry it, to drink it to the dregs?
When my heart screams, “No more!” and my body cries, “I can’t do this!”, I look to my Savior for the model of how to carry on.
Only in Christ, Who Himself bore the cup and Who drank its bitter fullness can I hope for strength and redemption.
The One Who knows my pain can carry my pain.
The One Who lives again will breathe life into my heart.
The One Who redeems what the enemy has stolen will turn my mourning to dancing.
This cup will not always overflow with sorrow. Around the banquet table at the wedding supper of the Lamb, it will once again be full of joy.
You make me know the path of life; in your presence is unbounded joy, in your right hand eternal delight.
Psalm 16:11 CJB
Busy, busy, busy and noisy, noisy, noisy.
Every day is full of activity and every minute full of sounds-television, radio, Itunes or Pandora.
I am, at the same time, hyper-connected and dis-connected. My mind is often full but my heart can feel empty.
If I can move fast enough or create sufficient distraction, then maybe I can ignore the harder questions, the deeper thoughts, the uncomfortable feelings that I would rather not explore.
Being in one’s own company alone with God is challenging. Without the noise of outside distraction I am forced to face my fears and hidden darkness. And in the quiet I find that the easy answers leave me empty and unsatisfied. I must listen carefully for the still, small Voice that whispers comfort.
If I want to hear from God I need to embrace solitude and make space to hear.
It never gets old.
I am always amazed to see my frightened flock bound toward me, faces raised in confidence that whatever is pursuing them is no match for their shepherd.
The loud noise may continue, the dogs may still be nipping at their heels, but in my presence is peace.
So often we think of peace as a cessation of hostility, but the biblical concept of shalom is so much more.
The Hebrew meaning of the word includes
It is more like the satisfied sleepy smile of an infant, safe in his mother’s arms and full of wholesome milk from her breast.
There is no thought for what might be next,
no fear that the safety he is experiencing right now may be taken away,
no worry that the bountiful supply of care will be depleted.
“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.” Psalm 23:2
Jehovah-Shalom-the LORD my Peace.
Peace is not a place or a promise-peace is a Person.
Even as I walk this hard path of grieving my son, I am strangely, inexplicably at peace in the core of my being.
And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvationt through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4: AMPC
Fear reigns in the hearts of many-even those who believe in Jesus.
And if I trust in the government, or the police, or myself to keep me safe, I have every reason to be fearful.
But when I rest completely in Jehovah-Shalom, the LORD Who is Himself my Peace, I can be assured that I am safe.
Not safe from all harm, but safe in His love and care.
When Dominic died, I was unaware of any resources available to bereaved parents other than books written on the subject. Thankfully, through personal contacts and Google searches, I found out about groups, online communities, blogs and excellent articles that helped me understand I wasn’t alone, I wasn’t crazy and I could survive.
I am working on a series of posts that will highlight some of the most helpful things people did for me and our family in the early days of our grief journey. I will also share the physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological challenges and experiences of bereavement.
If you are a bereaved parent or someone who loves a bereaved parent, please consider joining me on my public Facebook page: Heartache and Hope:Life After Losing a Child and share your perspective.
Someone suggested not too long after Dominic died that I might start a group for bereaved parents in my area–there aren’t any close by in our rural Alabama county.
I was not even ready to talk openly about my own feelings, much less listen to and absorb the pain of other grieving parents.
A few months ago I was introduced to a wonderful ministry called While We Are Waiting (whilewearewaiting.org) and discovered the blessing of belonging to a community of people who (unfortunately) know how I feel and can relate to my experience as a bereaved parent. I began to realize that Facebook can be a place to connect people that otherwise might feel isolated in their pain.
I’m still not ready to sit face-to-face with more than one or two people at a time for deep conversation about life and death and fear and hope.
But I have opened a FaceBook page–Heartache and Hope:Life After Losing a Child–and it is public-although I am moderating posts. I want to facilitate a way for parents in my area or in their own area, to find one another and form communities of support.
For some of us, online will be best. Others may choose to get together in physical spaces. Whatever works and brings hope to grieving hearts is wonderful.
I am not going to “invite friends” to like this page-thankfully, I don’t have that many people on my friend list who have buried children. But I am inviting those who read my blog, and who have themselves lost a child to “like” the Heartache and Hope page. And please invite other bereaved parents too.
There is no agenda other than encouraging one another in Christ and reminding ourselves of the hope we have in Jesus: death is defeated, the grave is not the end, and our children will one day be reunited with us in glory.
Listen very carefully, I tell you a mystery [a secret truth decreed by God and previously hidden, but now revealed]; we will not all sleep [in death], but we will all be [completely] changed [wondrously transformed], in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at [the sound of] the last trumpet call. For a trumpet will sound, and the dead [who believed in Christ] will be raised imperishable, and we will be [completely] changed [wondrously transformed]. For this perishable [part of us] must put on the imperishable [nature], and this mortal [part of us that is capable of dying] must put on immortality [which is freedom from death]. And when this perishable puts on the imperishable, and this mortal puts on immortality, then the Scripture will be fulfilled that says, “Death is swallowed up in victory (vanquished forever). O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:51-55 AMP
All around the world children climb in bed tonight, barely able to close their eyes because they can hardly wait for the celebration tomorrow.
Anticipation is a powerful motivator.
Looking forward to a reward, children may find that they really CAN behave. Thinking ahead to family flooding in, parents might realize that those piles of clutter that have been too big to tackle are easy to get rid of.
Presents, food and family fellowship will bring in the new day.
Anticipation fuels expectations and all too often our perfectly imagined Christmas morning doesn’t quite measure up.
Inevitably someone will be disappointed because what they thought they were getting for Christmas isn’t under the tree. Eventually a cross word disrupts the harmony and hurt feelings reign.
People disappoint us. Life rarely turns out the way we think it should or hope it will.
But there is One in Whom I can place my trust. One Whose name is Faithful and True.
He came as a Babe but reigns as a King.
My heart longs for the day when wrong is made right and my faith made sight.
On that Day, I will take hold of my heart’s hope and I will not be disappointed.
Until then I will rest in the real promise of Christmas:
At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises: Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.
Luke 2:14 MSG
