Did the mother whose son died pray less or with less faith than the mother whose son lives?
We must be careful to remember that God is sovereign and while we are commanded to pray, our words do not dictate His actions.
He alone knows the end from the beginning. He alone is the Alpha and Omega.
Read the rest here: Prayer After Child Loss: What’s the Point?
My son’s death is a moment in time, a date on the calendar, a thing of the past for other people.
I understand that.
But for me, it’s an ongoing event.
Every time Dominic SHOULD be here but isn’t I lose him again.
Every milestone he should be marking but doesn’t I lose him again.
Read the rest here: “I Lost My Child Today” by Netta Wilson
I’m pretty far past what I call my “season of sorrow” so I don’t really know what came over me the other day.
But somehow the stars aligned or the slant of the sunshine or the smell in the air overwhelmed my heart.
Maybe it’s because Facebook faithfully reminds me of what happened on this date years ago. I know I can adjust the settings but I don’t because it’s both bitter AND sweet to be reminded.
Maybe it’s because summers in Alabama involve fervent activity before nine in the morning with a long, hot lull until more fervent activity after five in the evening.
I really don’t know.
But that’s one of the conundrums of child loss.
I hit a wall and I had a cry and took a short nap (something I only do about five times a year) and I was better.
I try to manage my days to avoid these things but sometimes a little bit of this and a little bit of that blow winds of nostalgia and regret and longing and missing across my soul.
And all I can do is weather the storm.
“Stuck in grief”-it’s a theme of blog posts, psychology papers and magazine articles. The author usually lists either a variety of “symptoms” or relates anecdotes of people who do truly odd things after a loved one dies. “Complicated grief” is a legitimate psychiatric diagnosis.
But who gets to decide?
What objective criteria can be applied to every situation, every person, every death to determine whether someone is truly stuck in grief?
Read the rest here: Stuck or Unstuck in Grief? Who Gets to Decide?
I’ve heard it from more than one bereaved parent.
I’ve thought it myself.
“Is God punishing me?”
Have I done something so terrible that it falls outside the grace and mercy of the God Who sent His Son and so I must pay for it with my own child?
Read the rest here: Is God Punishing Me?
I’ve mothered things all my life.
Kittens, puppies, hamsters, other people.
And then I had my very own children.
What a privilege to pour my life into them! What joy to see them grow and mature and become people I not only love but admire and respect!
Read the rest here: Full of Joy and Safe in His Father’s Arms
I’ve learned that there are new things to miss even six years down this road of child loss.
I’ve learned that any odd moment, random smell, taste,touch, or occasion can pierce that place in my heart that screams, “Dominic should be here!”.
I’m also learning additional ways his absence continues to shape the family we have NOW. Dom’s absence continues to impact decisions, expectations, hopes and dreams TODAY.
Read the rest here: Bereaved Parents Month Post: The Missing Never Ends
We shouldn’t need a reminder, but we do.
The world is so busy telling us to “just do it” or “put on a happy face” or “think positive” that we begin to wonder if maybe we’ve got this grieving thing all wrong.
Read the rest here: You’re Allowed to be Sad
I absolutely understand that when people say things like, “Just think of all the wonderful memories you have” or “He brought you so much joy” they mean well.
Because it’s true-I have beautiful memories of Dominic. And he DID bring me great joy.
But I had those things BEFORE he was beyond my reach.
Read the rest here:But I Had All That BEFORE!
Someone posted this image yesterday on Facebook-they had received a copy in a therapy session and found it a helpful way to picture grief.
I wanted to share it because perhaps you may find it helpful as well. ❤
Read the rest here: Grief-A Tangled Ball of Emotions
thelifeididntchoose 