For most of us in America it seems that we rush from place to place, from event to event, from meal to meal, from crisis to crisis.
But when I read the Gospels I don’t feel a sense of rush at all.
Jesus expressed urgency when proclaiming that the kingdom of God was near, but He was never in a hurry.
Read the rest here: Choosing the Eternal Path
January is the month of resolutions and new beginnings!
So I boldly declare that THIS year I will (take your pick):
Wouldn’t it be grand if all it took was the turn of a calendar page to make all things new?
How wonderful if I could wipe the slate clean and start afresh just because the earth had made another round of the sun!
But the average length of time these commitments last is just 7-10 days. (Which by now, most of us have already found out.)
Why?
Because we can rarely make sweeping changes that go against habits and character traits just because we say it aloud or write it on a special piece of paper.
Life’s not like that.
Life is an amalgamation of thousands of small and a few not-so-small choices that combine to make me who I am.
Choices become habits and habits become character.
And then there are the other things–the things I didn’t choose-that slam into me and violently reshape who I am-ready or not.
How I respond to what I can’t control continues to remake who I am.
There is ONE resolution that can remake me from the inside out.
There is one habit that that will not only make THIS year new, but will make ME new.
There is a single choice that I can make every day that will affect me and everyone around me.
It’s not hard, but there will be resistance. It doesn’t require special equipment, but it requires commitment. I don’t have to be in shape-as a matter of fact, the more out-of-shape I am, the more remarkable the transformation.
If I place my heart in the hands of Jesus by sitting in silence with Him each day, reading His Word and asking Him to open my eyes to the beauty He places in my path-even this rocky road of child loss-He will renew my mind and transform my character so that I am conformed to His image.
He is the Potter.
The work is His.
I am the clay.
Grief is not sin.
It wasn’t until another grieving mom asked the question that I realized there are some (many?) in the community of believers that think grief is sin.
Not at first, mind you-everyone is “allowed” a certain amount of time to get over the loss of a dream, the loss of a job, the loss of health or the loss of a loved one.
But carry that sadness and wounded heart too publicly for too long and you better be ready for someone to question your faith.
And (heaven forbid!) you drag your limping soul to church on Sunday and sit silent during worship, tears streaming, as the rest of the congregation heartily affirms all the things you now wrestle with every day.
Is God good? ALL the time? Does God protect the ones He loves? ALL the time?
“We bring the sacrifice of praise….” What sacrifice have you made lately? Have you buried a child?
I think anything has the potential to be sin. If I allow my heart, mind and soul to focus exclusively on what I’ve lost instead of what I’m promised through Jesus Christ, that is sin.
But grief itself is not sin.
Paul said, “We do not grieve as those who have no hope” NOT “we do not grieve”. (I Thessalonians 4:13)
Sadness is not sin. Sorrow and missing my son is not sin.
For a time, especially at the beginning, grief occupied most of my field of vision. It’s that huge.
We are made of dust and it cannot be otherwise.
Death is awful and the redemption of what was lost in the Fall cost God His only son. “The whole creation groans” (mourns, grieves) “to be set free from bondage to decay”. (Romans 8:21-22)
Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, Why have You forsaken Me?” as He bore the full weight of sin and sorrow of the world.
I believe that grief becomes sin when I choose to turn my face away from God and only toward my sorrow.
If I am holding it and dragging it with me toward the foot of the cross, that’s not sin.
If I turn my heart and face toward the One Who made me and trust that even in this painful place He is carrying me and will care for me, that’s not sin.
The writer of Hebrews speaks of bringing the “sacrifice of praise” (Hebrews 13:15). It is no sacrifice to praise God for the beautiful blessings.
It is quite the sacrifice to praise God for what Joni Eareckson Tada calls a “bruising of a blessing”.
If I continue to wrestle, like Jacob-clinging and begging for the blessing-I am not sinning when I walk away with the limp the wound leaves behind.
Jesus has opened the way to the throne of grace by His own blood.
I don’t have to hide and I don’t have to be afraid.
He knows my pain. He knows my name.
I keep bringing my broken heart to the altar and lift it up in broken praise.
That’s not sin.
It’s the widow’s mite-it’s everything I’ve got.
You can’t hold your breath forever.
But when you first learn your child is dead you want to–oh, how you want to.
I don’t know if it was defiance or hope that made me certain that if I could just stop breathing, I could freeze time.
Read the rest here: Hallelujah is an Exhale
I’ve mentioned it before.
I’ve encouraged others not to resist.
But I want to be absolutely clear: Losing my son made me doubt EVERYTHING.
I grew up going to church, listening to Bible stories, hearing “God is in control”, “Jesus loves me”, “prayer moves mountains” and (even though it isn’t true) being “good” gets rewarded.
The prerequisite, of course, was receiving Christ, being “saved”, trusting Jesus.
I did that when I was eight years old.
And I leaned in and studied Scripture, fashioning my life around the Holy Word. My home rested firmly on the solid rock foundation of belief in Jesus and the sovereignty and sufficiency of God.
For heaven’s sake! I spent twenty years homeschooling my kids! We might skip a math lesson but we never missed a chance to note how biblical principles and biblical truth informed our worldview and guided our choices.
I know, I know, I know that I don’t deserve special treatment. I know that God does not promise to exempt any person from hurt and heartache as long as we walk this earth.
But somewhere I got mixed up.
Somehow I thought that if I did all the right things, made all the necessary personal sacrifices, read the right books, walked the right path, my heart might be spared.
I was, oh, so wrong.
So when I had to bury my perfectly healthy, vibrant, brilliant, loving son who was here-one-moment-gone-the-next, I had to take a little while to decide how much of what I used to believe I could still believe.
I had to pull out all the verses, all the suppositions, all the theological arguments upon which my faith had rested and test them against my new reality.
Is God sovereign? Does He have control?
I decided that He is and does.
Based on His Word and my own life experience, I am convinced that God is in control.
But His control does not routinely override the laws of physics He has put in place to rule the world. His control does not always spare someone the natural consequences of choices made by free will. His control does not always supersede the sinful brokenness that abounds on this earth.
So, here I am. Left with absolute rock solid faith in the few, most important things upon which my hope can rest.
Christ died.
Christ rose.
Christ will come again.
Death is conquered.
Heaven is sure.
Redemption has been paid for and restoration will be complete.
I know by painful experience that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts.
I do not understand everything.
But I cling to what I can understand.
Doubt is not sin. I don’t try to talk myself out of it anymore.
Because the One Who made me holds me fast.
Those He saves are His delight
Christ will hold me fast
Precious in His holy sight
He will hold me fast
He’ll not let my soul be lost
His promises shall last
Bought by Him at such a cost
He will hold me fast~He Will Hold Me Fast, Getty Music
Invincible made vulnerable,
Lord made lowly,
Not above me
Not below me
Beside me-
Emmanuel–God With Us, God with ME.
Love took on flesh to walk among us barefoot over the broken shards that bruise our hearts and make our feet bleed.
He knows my pain
He knows my frame
He loves me.
He didn’t have to do it. He could have decided that it wasn’t worth the cost. He could have wiped the slate clean and begun anew-He made the world the first time, He could have made it a second time just as easily.
But the God of the universe chose-He CHOSE-to purchase the broken and battered, the weary and worn, the wounded and limping for His treasure.
He’s still here. As near as your next breath.
Are you empty?
He will fill you.
Are you broken?
He promises to restore.
Are you weary?
He will give you rest.
Open your hands, open your heart and receive the Real Gift of Christmas.
There are many days when I cannot talk myself out of sorrow. Moments when I can’t distract my heart from the pain of missing Dominic.
So I don’t try.
Instead I remind myself of the fact that I serve a Suffering Savior.
I follow a Gentle Shepherd. I can trust a Compassionate Father.
I turn to God’s Word to encourage my heart.
Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God’s way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 MSG
Jesus knows my suffering. He understands my pain.
Yet it was our suffering he carried, our pain and distress, our sick-to-the-soul-ness. We just figured that God had rejected him, that God was the reason he hurt so badly.
Isaiah 53:4 VOICE
God has promised blessing to mourners, He has promised comfort to hurting hearts.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4 NIV
The LORD will heal my heart-if not here, then in Heaven.
He is the healer of the brokenhearted. He is the one who bandages their wounds.
Psalm 147:3 GW
God will comfort me so that I can comfort others.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble
2 Corinthians 1:3,4
Jesus will not abandon me in my despair. He will uphold me when my own strength is gone.
Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Don’t tremble with fear. I am your God. I will make you strong, as I protect you with my arm and give you victories.
Isaiah 41:10 CEV
My Shepherd is right here with me. He will not leave me alone.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me
Psalm 23:4 NKJV
My son is not dead. He is alive with Christ. And he will be raised in the final day.
And regarding the question, friends, that has come up about what happens to those already dead and buried, we don’t want you in the dark any longer. First off, you must not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word. Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus.
I Thessalonians 4:13,14 MSG
Death has been swallowed up in victory.
The trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. … So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: ‘Death is swallowed up in victory’
1 Corinthians 15:52,54 NKJV
Every single thing the enemy has stolen, killed or destroyed will be redeemed and restored.
God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away
Revelations 21:4 NKJV
My children grew up surrounded by life and by death.
On our small farm they got to see puppies, kittens, goats, sheep and horses take their first breath. We watched turkeys and chickens hatch-struggling in that last great effort to throw off the shell.
And we also witnessed life’s end.
Every. time. it feels wrong. Every. time. it feels like defeat.
And it is–we were not made to die.
God didn’t create this world to be full of endings. He made it to be full of life and fellowship and love and for His glory.
But we live in a broken world.
When the first man and first woman looked away from their Loving Creator and embraced temptation, death came in through sin.
That longing we have, that sense that death is WRONG-that death is not the way things SHOULD be-that’s the spark of God’s Spirit speaking to us.
It’s the Father’s call to our hearts to turn to Him.
God the Father has made provision for eternal life with Him through Jesus the Son.
Yes, this world is full of death-it has touched my life in a very personal and awful way.
But my heart and God’s Word tells me that death is not what we are meant for-that there is MORE.
We who have known only futility, decay, homesickness, and exile, have found strong encouragement to hold fast to our hope because we are no longer helpless and alone. He’s already gone before us, trail blazing straight through exile and death into life as our Captain. Yes, I know this is true. I can hope even in the midst of doubt.
Through his death and resurrection, he has flung open the gate, torn the curtain that divided us from God’s presence, and done it all as the incarnate Son of Man. God has not forever abandoned his creation. Mankind is still his good work. In the body of Jesus, Man has gone into the presence of God, to his throne room, to the company of myriads of angels dressed for a party (see Hebrews 12:22). I’m in a form of exile now, but exile doesn’t mean abandonment. Jesus has made sure of that.
~Elyse Fitzpatrick, Home
As we move toward celebration of the birth of Christ, I pray we look also to His life, death and resurrection and the promise of hope He has placed in our hearts.
This past week has been brutal in many ways.
Some of us are fearful. Some of us are hopeful. Some of us just want it all to go away.
For me, it’s yet another reminder that We are Not Home Yet.
Another mama who carries the burden of child loss posted a music video on her Facebook wall and it melted me.
Because when you wake every day to the reality that your beloved child is out of reach you begin to wonder sometimes if there is a sorrow so deep it can never be healed.
So I listened-over and over-as David Crowder sang truth to my soul: “Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal.”
You don’t have to lose a child to feel overwhelmed with the burdens of this life.
You don’t have to look death in the face to feel death in your bones.
I wish I knew how to embed videos in my posts, but I don’t so here’s the link: Crowder “Come As You Are”
Listen and let hope fill your soul.
This life is hard. No denying the truth. But hold on.
What we see is not all there is.
Come as You Are
Come out of sadness from wherever you’ve been
Come broken-hearted, let rescue begin
Come find your mercy, oh sinner come kneel
Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal
Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t healSo Lay down your burdens, lay down your shame
All who are broken, lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home, you’re not too far
So lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
Come as you areThere’s hope for the hopeless and all those who’ve strayed
Come sit at the table, come taste the grace
There’s rest for the weary, rest that endures
Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t cure.
thelifeididntchoose 