“I wake before the morning light. Every. single. morning.
I get my coffee, sit in my chair and wait for sunrise.
I never worry that today it might not happen.
Read the rest here: Trust After Loss: Access the Truth
Tag: truth
Repost: Trust After Loss: Acknowledge Doubt and Ask Questions
Grief forces me to walk Relentlessly Forward even when I long to go back.
I can’t stop the clock or the sun or the days rolling by.
Those of us who are more than a couple months along in this journey (or any journey that involves tragedy and loss) know that it is ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLEto feel worse than in the first few days.
Read the rest here: Trust After Loss: Acknowledge Doubt and Ask Questions
Repost: Trust After Loss: Admit the Pain
Child loss is Unnatural-no way around it.
Out of order death is devastating.
When my perfectly healthy, strong and gifted son was killed instantly in a motorcycle accident on April 12. 2014 my world fell apart. My heart shattered into a million pieces. And after three and a half years, I’ve yet to even FINDall of those pieces much less put them back together.
So what does a heart do when that happens?
Read the rest here: Trust After Loss: Admit the Pain
One Little Word 2018
I used to spend every New Year’s morning with my Bible, my thoughts and my Lord.
I wrote each family member’s name in my journal and waited for the Holy Spirit to give me a verse to pray for them for the next year.
I would end with my own name and ask God what good works He had planned for me.
When I look back over these journals I realize that what I had essentially been doing for decades was asking God for “One Little Word” to focus my energy, resources and attention each year.
I honestly believe that every human on the face of the Earth is here for a reason. They are not a random collection of cells and neurons. They are created in the image of an Almighty God to impact the people around them in specific ways.
So I challenge you to ask the God of the universe to give you One Little Word for 2018.
And then hold every potential commitment up to that light to determine if it is really part of God’s plan for you this year.
For some of my hurting parent friends the word may be “healing” or “rest” and that’s just fine. For others it may be “endurance” or “perseverance” and that’s fine too.
It’s between you and God.
May you hear clearly and receive with open hands.
Repost: Learning To Trust God Again After
For the next few days, I’ll be sharing these previously published posts in a series born from a speaking engagement last October.
If you struggle with squaring God’s sovereignty, His love and man’s free will, then I invite you to join me.
I hope it helps your heart. ❤
If you’ve read the blog for very long, you’ve learned two things about me: (1) I am up front and honest about my feelings, my doubts, my faith and my heart; and (2) I’m not afraid to explore topics that often make the church uncomfortable.
So here I am again.
Read the rest here: Learning To Trust God Again After Loss
Did She REALLY Mean It That Way?
Most of us are used to them by now-those photo filters that can turn an awful picture into a dreamy masterpiece.
The same filters can take a perfectly lovely photo and distort it into something comical or worse.
Our minds are like that.
When we see things, hear things, experience things-we are filtering them through our own experience, emotional state, physical condition and biases.
As a bereaved parent, I’ve got to be very, very careful I don’t misinterpret other people’s words, actions and intentions.
It’s easy sometimes for me to feel like someone is purposefully seeking to harm me when all they are doing is acting in ignorance.
I can be quick to assume that a person’s absence is avoidance instead of simply a function of an overbusy schedule.
I can take words and twist them to mean something very different than what was intended because my heart hears everything through the filter of loss.
If I don’t constantly remind myself, I forget that if someone else hasn’t experienced child loss they really, truly HAVE NO CLUE what it feels like to walk in my shoes.
Because if I don’t, I spend most of my time hurt, licking my wounds in the corner and avoiding the very people that can help my heart heal.
Do other people have a responsibility to try to understand?
Of course they do!
But I also have a responsibility to try to see their hearts and not only their actions.
I need to check my own filters to make sure I’m not placing blame where there is none.
I should give them the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.
Repost: Faithful Waiting
I’ve been working on Christmas posts for weeks now and really thought I’d have something original and new for today. But life has conspired against me and I find myself worn and fragile and oh, so very tired!
Then a thread on a bereaved parents’ page reminded me of Simeon. And my heart knew that even though this post was written two years ago, it was precisely what I needed for THIS year, THIS Christmas.
I am clinging with both hands to the promises I can only see by faith: That this pain will be redeemed, that every tear is captured and treasured by God Almighty and that every single stolen thing will be restored and renewed.
I will proclaim with Simeon that God is faithful and He cannot lie.
So I open my eyes on Christmas morning to a world where joy and sorrow live together for now but look forward to the morning when only JOY will reign.
I fell in love with Ron Dicianni’s painting, “Simeon’s Moment” many years ago. My husband bought and framed a print for me and I sit opposite it every morning as I drink my coffee.
It never fails to touch my heart.
Read the rest here: Faithful Waiting
When You Think You Can’t Hold On
So many ways to be reminded of how hard it is to hold on in these days and weeks around Christmas.
If your heart is barely able to beat, the pressure to be “hap-hap-happy” can send you over the edge.
If your home is empty of cheerful voices, the constant barrage of commercials touting family togetherness can leave you feeling oh, so lonely.
Early sunsets and darker nights send feel-good hormones flying and leave a body aching for just a little relief from anxious and depressing thoughts.
When you think you can’t hold on, let go.
Let go of expectations-yours and other people’s.
Let go of traditions that no longer serve your heart or draw you closer to the Babe in the manger.
Let go of tons of baking or cooking or entertaining with perfect centerpieces and fragile china.
Let go of blasting Christmas music through the house.
Let go of shopping for the perfect gift or mailing all those cards.
Be still.
Light a candle in the darkness.
Sit quietly and see how even the faintest light can chase away the black of night.
And then hold your empty hands out to the God Who made you, the God Who loves you, the God Who longs to draw you to His heart and let Him fill you with hope.
There IS hope.
He came in the form of a Baby-weak and vulnerable just like us.
He KNOWS our pain.
He is not impressed with our busyness or our decorations or our presents piled high beneath the tree.
He sees the heart. He looks with mercy on a broken heart. He is the Healer of hearts.
He longs to heal yours.
Repost: What Does Healing Look Like?
As I continue to walk this Valley, my heart asks the question, “What does healing look like?”
Fewer tears? Check.
More laughter? Check.
Better able to function? Check.
I’m definitely not as fragile as I was in the days and weeks and first months after Dominic left us.
I can do what life requires without falling apart (most of the time).
Read the rest here: What Does Healing Look Like?
Repost: Jesus: The Alpha & Omega
“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End [the Eternal One].” Revelation 22:13 AMP
Jesus, the eternal Son of the eternal Father, bookends all history.
Even though there are things that surprise me, there is nothing that surprises Him.
Read the rest here: Jesus: The Alpha & Omega
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