I know many who read this blog belong to closed online bereavement groups.
That’s a beautiful thing- a place where we can share our pain with others who understand it in a judgement-free zone.
We often post photos and our child(ren)’s story in the closed groups.
But today I want to take a moment to provide a public forum for anyone who wishes to take advantage of it.
Read the rest here: Your Child Matters
It’s popular in books, self-help articles and even in some grief groups for people to declare , “Child loss does not (will not, should not) define me”.
And while I will defend to the end another parent’s right to walk this path however seems best and most healing to him or her, to that statement I say, “Bah! Humbug!”
Child loss DOES define me.
It defines me in the same way that motherhood and marriage define me.
Read the rest here: Child Loss DOES Define Me
Dear Mama,
I know that you never-in your wildest imagination-thought that you would need a day set aside for your broken heart and your empty arms.
Who thinks when they learn a new life is growing inside that this same life might be cut short? What heart is brave enough to consider the possibility?
Yet here you are.
I’m so, so sorry.
But there are a few things I want you to know. There are some important truths to remember on this broken road-truths that can help you hold onto hope and finish strong.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2018/05/06/international-bereaved-mothers-day-an-open-letter-to-my-fellow-sisters-in-loss/
International Bereaved Mother’s Day is observed the Sunday before Mother’s Day in the United States. This year it’s tomorrow, May 1, 2022
I didn’t even know such a day existed until I was a mom that needed it.
Read the rest here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2017/05/06/international-bereaved-mothers-day/
I’ve mothered things all my life.
Kittens, puppies, hamsters, other people.
And then I had my very own children.
What a privilege to pour my life into them! What joy to see them grow and mature and become people I not only love but admire and respect!
I learned so very much while raising my children. The Lord used them to shape and mold my heart to be more like His. They were instruments of grace and discipline. Over and over and over I had to lay down my preferences and priorities to make way for theirs.
Now I have a grandson.
Another generation to snuggle and teach, comfort and care for.
I’m already learning even more in this season.
This little guy’s early and rocky start in life reignited passion for prayer in mine. Watching him grow and thrive sparks hope and joy like I haven’t felt in the years since Dominic left us for Heaven.
His smile lights up my heart and the room.
Just the other day his daddy shared this picture with me:
James Michael was being silly with him, oohing and aahing and making him giggle.
As I stared at the photo I realized this child was experiencing such joy, such complete contentment, fulfillment and utter sense of safety it was uncontainable.
So it spread all over his face.
Then I had an epiphany-that’s exactly what Dominic feels right now.
This very minute the child I am missing is missing nothing. Precisely when I am wondering if God cares, if He hears, if He’s even near, Dominic is filled to overflowing with undeniable and uncontainable joy because what I hope for he SEES.
And one day that will be me.
All the heartache of this life will fade away to a tiny, tiny dot in the distance. What has been stolen will be restored. What has been bartered away will be redeemed. Wounds will be fully healed and my heart will be whole.
I’ll be full of joy and safe in my Father’s arms. ❤
Dear Mama,
I know that you never-in your wildest imagination-thought that you would need a day set aside for your broken heart and your empty arms.
Who thinks when they learn a new life is growing inside that this same life might be cut short? What heart is brave enough to consider the possibility?
Yet here you are.
I’m so, so sorry.
Read the rest here: International Bereaved Mother’s Day: An Open Letter to my Fellow Sisters in Loss
International Bereaved Mother’s Day is observed the Sunday before Mother’s Day in the United States. This year it’s tomorrow, May 5, 2019.
I didn’t even know such a day existed until I was a mom that needed it.
Read the rest here: International Bereaved Mother’s Day
Here they come.
It’s time for the First Day of School photo contests on social media. Shot after shot of little ones and not-so-little ones posing with new book bags and new clothes holding a chalkboard sign that indicates their grade.
And then the pictures of college freshmen toting boxes into dorm rooms, waving good-bye to mom and dad, beginning their adult lives unfettered by curfews and parental oversight.
Then the laments, “I can’t believe they are growing up!”
I hear you, mama. It IS a challenge to watch them grow up. But you aren’t really saying, “good-bye”.
I see it from an entirely different perspective.
Read the rest here: It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over
I wanted to do a version 2.0 of this post but felt like I couldn’t really add much to what I’ve already written.
So here it is again-a letter to the children still walking planet Earth with me.
You are every bit as important and loved as your brother that is waiting for us in Heaven.
I love you.
You are my breath, my life, my heart walking outside my body. ❤
I never thought it possible to love you more than I already did.
But I do.
Your brother’s untimely departure has opened my heart in a whole new way to the glory that is your presence. It has made me drink you in like water in the desert.
Read the rest here: A Letter To My Living Children*
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