I’m gonna just tell you right now: If you let your mind wander to the days, months and possibly years ahead you will drown in sorrow.
The only way to make this journey is step by step.
This one moment, this one breath, this one memory bringing tears to my eyes. I don’t receive the strength for another moment until I live through this one.
But each moment bravely faced speaks courage to my heart for the next.
Some days I feel empty of hope. Some days it takes every ounce of will to get out of bed. Sometimes I lie there and think, “Can’t I skip today?”
It’s a genuine temptation.
And then a still, small Voice speaks to my heart and says, “I’m here. You don’t have to figure it all out, just make the first step.”
So I do.
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thelifeididntchoose 
Lately I just think….”How am I still here?”.
There are just no words adequate for this sorrow.
I hate the new fake me….the one that walks through this world. The one who weighs whether moving in the old world is worth the effort.
The real me only comes out with the mommas who, sadly, get it.
You really nailed it with both your posts today💔
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It will be one year on the 30th since that dreaded night of Joe’s accident. I don’t know how we got here, literally. I don’t even remember those first few months. Thankfully I was able to take a couple of months off and then was off for the summer. It’s just been a blur. The darkness felt like it was overcoming me at times. Thank God that He has allowed His light to shine and expose the darkness and help me to see. Thank you for your writings as they bring much comfort to us all.
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Can I skip today? I love it. Lyrics from a Sara Groves song echo in my mind…”there’s honey in the rock, there’s more to be seen. These patches of joy, these STRETCHES of sorrow, there’s enough for today, there’ll be enough tomorrow.” Thinking for today is all I can do. Thank you, Melanie💛💙
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Thank you Melanie, your blogs mirror exactly how I feel but cannot grasp the words. I appreciate them so very much. I read them through tears every time. How long has it been since you lost your son?
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Love the Steven Curtis Chapman song “Take Another Step”. It helped me earlier on when it was minute by minute. It continues to help now at the 2 1/2 year mark.
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