How Can I Trust My Child Is With Jesus?

There are many burdens bereaved parents bear in addition to the heaviness of living with child loss.

Some had unfinished business,

some were estranged,

some had harsh words

or no words at all before their child left them.

And some are oh, so afraid that the child that made a sincere profession of faith in Christ might not be in heaven because he or she was living outside the will of God when they died.

I can’t offer words to undo or soothe some of the other burdens, but I can offer hope from the Word of God to assure any parent afraid for the eternal salvation of their child that he or she is safely Home.

If your child made a genuine profession of faith in Christ, then no single impulsive decision or even a series of bad choices, can undo what God has done for him or her through the blood of Jesus.

If Satan is not strong enough to snatch us from God’s hand, our feeble human choices are certainly not strong enough!

Jesus declared those whom the Father had given Him could in no way be snatched from His hand:

28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.

30 I and my Father are one.

John 10:28-30 KJV

The circumstances of a child’s death do not negate his or her profession of faith in the blood of Christ Jesus!

42 Then he [the repentent thief on the cross] said, “Jesus, remember me when you enter your kingdom.”

43 He said, “Don’t worry, I will. Today you will join me in paradise.”

Luke 22: 42-43 MSG

I realize that various denominational traditions teach different things, but I am utterly convinced that it is God Himself Who calls, Who saves, Who keeps and Who is keeping at this moment our precious children who put their trust in Jesus:

For it is by grace [God’s remarkable compassion and favor drawing you to Christ] that you have been saved [actually delivered from judgment and given eternal life] through faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [not through your own effort], but it is the [undeserved, gracious] gift of God;

Ephesians 2:8 AMP

I also rest satisfied that He Who began a good work in our children is faithful to complete it. If salvation depended on our good works, or our own faithfulness-ALL of us would be lost.

began a good work

We are hid in Christ. His righteousness (and HIS alone) is our righteousness.

For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.

Colossians 3:3 KJV

Our sins are flung as far as the east is from the west. They are hid behind God’s back-unviewable (have you ever tried to see something on the small of your back-without a mirror?):

AS-far-as-the-east-is-1024x651

Dominic was not at the height of his Bible-toting, church-going, praise-song-singing days when he left us.  He was an adult student in law school, living in his own apartment and making his own choices.  He made some I didn’t like.  But that doesn’t change the FACT that he belonged (and STILL belongs)  to Jesus.

Your child who trusted Jesus is safe, dear parent.

He is in his really, truly Home.

One day there will be great joy when we are reunited. Until then, we rely on the promises of God in Christ to see us through.

wipe every tear 2

I pray for every parent reading that God overwhelms your hurting heart with His love, grace and mercy and assures you of His faithfulness.

And may He give you strength for each new day.

❤ Melanie

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

43 thoughts on “How Can I Trust My Child Is With Jesus?”

  1. Pingback: We CAN Know! - First Hour Grief Response

  2. A beautiful post Melanie..My son is there ..so is Dominic and all those who believe know the truth!
    For those who have no belief, I respect everyone’s views on heaven and eternal life … but then again our purpose is as Christians to convince you otherwise and do the work of the Lord! You are doing a very special job Melanie for the Lord in your writing and comfort that you give to us . You will be rewarded Melanie. God sees everything.
    You could quite easily not do this..you chose to, and for that I am truly grateful and feel blessed ,that I found your blog when I literally felt my life shatter the day my beautiful boy left for heaven. You picked me up..you thought the way I did, sat me down, and then..wrote. Nothing in this world can prepare you for losing your child. Nothing.
    You have such a talent and way with words that I feel you just write the truth from your soul , and are kind enough to share that with us. I know I could not possibly write in such a way. I have to think that although some may not believe, as they state , they are gaining comfort from your posts which are structured around scripture. Thank you again dear Melanie!
    Blessings to all xxxx

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  3. Pingback: Can I Trust My Child Is With Jesus? – thelifeididntchoose

  4. Melanie, I find myself here more & more after 3 weeks of painful mom guilt. Thank you. Ryan was only 39 and I miss him so much, I saw him floundering, but I did not know what I could do to help him. Each day we have uncovered just how much pain he was in….I am beginning to connect my heat to my brain by giving God my tears. This blog is my lifeline to a new, sad reality. I thank you and each survivor for sharing. Now I must trust God for each breath because there are moments when my anxiety overtakes me. Yes, bad things do happen to God’s people…. but you are a beautiful example of God turning your pain into being a blessing for those of us who yearn to do that. Thank you 🙏

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  5. my Lydia didnt believe in Jesus. I will never see her again. this is my unbearable pain. this is why I cant wait until the day I die to be out of this unbearable pain

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  6. God’s grace is immeasurable and sufficient. So very thankful for your writings from the heart, Melanie. May God continue to bless us all with His everlasting love. Mommy to Evan, forever 15. 2002-2018.

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  8. I do believe in being renewed by the blood of Jesus Christ, but I do not AT ALL believe that once saved, we are destined for Heaven no matter what we do. Going to Heaven requires a relationship and a walk we have to walk daily. We have to repent for the sins we commit. Children up to an age of accountability are not able to commit sin knowingly, so yes an infant or 7 or 8 year old can go to heaven regardless of what they may have done, but a child that is a ten or older, who has heard the gospel and chooses to act differently than faith would indicate you should act are committing sin, and without repentance.. They are not going to heaven.

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    1. Christy, I will respectfully disagree. I am aware that many Christian denominations have different opinions on this matter and theologians wiser than me have failed to sway one another’s opinions. If you are speaking in terms of deliberate, repeated, unrepentant sinful behavior that really indicates not “lost” salvation but the fact that there had never been a real encounter with the Living Christ, then I would say that person is probably not in heaven. However, there are many, many young people who make an impetuous or foolish choice, or who are lured into sin by companions or are mentally unstable or addicted to substances and then die. If those persons have made a genuine profession of faith in Jesus, then that act does not preclude them from Heaven. Otherwise we are left with the Catholic teaching that the Last Rites must be administered and every sin accounted for prior to death. If I speak harshly, gossip or slander and am hit by a car crossing the street, then am I excluded? I just don’t think so. And I am also very, very cautious in trying to guess what kind of business a dying person may be conducting with God in the last moments before death. If there is one thing I think was a glaring difference between Jesus and the religious leaders of His day it is this: He saw the heart. They saw only outward conformity. ❤

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      1. Thank you Melanie once again! My 34 year old son believed and accepted Jesus at a young age. He ended up having addiction to alcohol and it eventually took his life. He had the kindest most generous and gentle heart of anyone I have ever known. My heart and my belief in Jesus Christ tell me that Steven is in heaven. He struggled with this for several years. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this matter. My hope and faith rest in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
        Jackie

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    2. This is a false teaching that is blasphemous to the character and power of God. Humans are saved only by what Jesus Christ DID on the cross. There is absolutely nothing we can do to add to it. IT IS FINISHED are Jesus’ own words. We do not save ourselves by our own goodness! Not all accept this as truth in this life, but eventually, thru judgment, repentance and correction, every knee will GLADLY bow and every tongue will confess JESUS as Lord and SAVIOR to the glory of the father! (Phil 2:9)

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  9. No parent need worry.
    For as in Adam ALL die, even so in Christ shall ALL be made alive.
    1 Corinthians 15:22
    The same ALL lost thru Adams sin is the same ALL that will be given life thru CHRIST.
    Don’t let anyone tell you that Satan or evil is more powerful than God and Christ.
    Here’s your promise for your dead loved ones:
    For therefor we both labor and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Savior of ALL men, especially (not exclusively) of those who believe.
    1 Timothy 4:10
    Jesus finished the work His Father sent Him to do on the cross. There is NOTHING we can do to add to it.
    I have glorified Thee on the earth; I have finished the work which Thou gavest Me to do.
    John 17:4
    And what did His Father send Him to do?
    And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.
    1 John 4:14
    Let this be a comfort to all who mourn!

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    1. Thank you for sharing these scriptures. If I am reading your comment rightly you believe in universal salvation. On that point I disagree. The Bible clearly teaches that not all people will choose to avail themselves of the salvation available in Christ Jesus. I do believe that any person, no matter how young or feeble, who makes an honest profession of faith in the finished work of Christ and who places their sole hope in His righteousness and the propitiation provided by His blood is safe in heaven. ❤️

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      1. No, I am not a Universalist (believing everyone automatically goes to heaven with no consequences). What I am is a believer in the successful finished work of Christ. his Father gave Him a job to do (save the world) and I believe that is exactly what the cross accomplished. God is NOT willing that any parish, but ALL come to REPENTANCE (The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9 ). I do not believe mans will is greater than Gods! There are definitely consequences to sin, and it must be repented of and corrected. I believe God will accomplish this for every human thru judgment (God forbid! Yea, let God be true, but every man a liar. As it is written: “That Thou mightest be justified in Thy sayings, and mightest overcome when Thou art judged.” Romans 3:4 ) He will restore ALL at the end of the ages (Then cometh the end when He shall have delivered up the Kingdom to God, even the Father, when He shall have put down all rule, and all authority and power. For He must reign until He hath put all enemies under His feet. The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death, for “He hath put all things under His feet.” But when He saith “all things” are put under Him, it is manifest that He is excepted, who did put all things under Him. And when all things shall be subdued unto Him, then shall the Son Himself also be subject unto Him who put all things under Him, that God may be all in all. 1 Corinthians 15:24-28 ) He is the good shepherd that will not rest until every last lamb is safe in his care.
        Therefore God also hath highly exalted Him, and given Him a name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in Heaven and things on earth and things under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
        Philippians 2:9-11

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      2. I know my son is in Heaven. He made a profession of faith in youth group a few years before he died. He did not live the life he should have for a few years before he died, but he never denied Christ. He professed do be a Christian always. My son took his own life. God would not send a child of his to hell that was not thinking logically.

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      3. Suicide is not the unforgivable sin. You are absolutely right-the Lord looks at the heart and welcomes all who have received Jesus regardless of how their lives may end. ❤

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      5. Yes. The Bible clearly teaches that those who reject the gift of salvation through the finished work of Christ are destined to be outside the Presence if God for eternity. God offers the gift freely and without cost to all hearts who believe. But those who reject Him and His gift will get precisely what they have chosen. See John 3:16-17. Especially verse 17 ❤️

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      1. There was nothing I said that was blasphemous. We are not all going to heaven because Jesus died on the cross. There are people that deny Christ. There are people who sin and never repent, but to you they are forever saved since he di3d on the cross….. That seems blasphemous. The Bible teaches that we have to repent and turn away from old ways to begin a new life. That don’t mean we added to anything, it means we have made a commitment and established faith in the lord. It is absurd to think you believe we are all saved and going to heaven forever more simply because Jesus died on the cross. We have to have a developed faith, relationship, and a belief in the God almighty. I cannot see being in heaven standing next to an atheist.

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      2. Y’all better quit reading others opinions that will satisfy your grief or your desires and find a church CNN and a pastor that teaches the whole truth

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      3. I will ask for civility or I will delete comments. There are many people that have a variety of scriptural interpretations that can be equally well defended from the Bible. Paul tells us that now “we know in part” and “see through a glass dimly”. I dare not claim to know everything about God nor how He works in this world. I once thought I could- but like Job I must now clasp my hand over my mouth and admit I spoke of things too great for me.

        You are most certainly entitled to your opinion but I don’t share it.

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  10. TY I’ve been so worried about my sweet beautiful daughter being in the right place she’s a good girl w a huge heart, you still worry no matter what I still pray that we will be together soon she’s my everything always still can’t believe this & it’s been 2years & 5months it just gets worst I miss her so much. Sorry for your loss. God bless you. I love you more… my sweet beautiful Brittany ❤🐝

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  12. Thank you Melanie for your helpful thoughts and the reassurance of Scripture. I, too, know where our son, Dan is, but he had a rocky journey with his faith. How good to know that it is He who holds us all fast.

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  13. My son was just out of college and also not at the height of his outward expression of his relationship with Jesus. Sometimes, the enemy tries to come at me with that. Your post is comforting, for sure. Thank you!!

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  15. Beautiful post, and so quietly convincing. I tell myself all the time that I KNOW where my son is, yet I crave for validation. I appreciate reading your words this morning.

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  17. Thank you so MUCH Melanie! I’m so grateful for your writings. I look forward to each one of your post. Helps my broken heart get through each passing day. God Bless You! Much love to you from this mom who lost my son to suicide July 20, 2016. He would have been 22 on the 27th of July 2016. Will soon be a year, and the pain in my heart never stops. My “Drew” did ask Jesus to come into his heart and made confession of his faith to many people. He still lived at home, and his Christian walk concerned me, but I kept reassuring myself “he will spiritually grow in time.” Never imagined the unimaginable would EVER happen. God ministers to my heart so much through you. Please keep them coming! Sincerly, Cindy Bell-Parsley

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    1. I think that most of us have a testimony of moving away from God in our teens/early 20s (if we were raised in church and made an early profession). Some of our children didn’t get the opportunity to grow out of it. But I earnestly believe that they are safe with their Shepherd. Praying God gives you what you need for each new day. ❤

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      1. Yes! Amen. I just had this very same discussion with my own sister. Even though Zac had wandered away from his faith, doesn’t mean that God left him or he somehow “lost” his salvation. Zac’s salvation is secured because of what Jesus did on the cross, not because of anything Zac did or didn’t do to stay saved.

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  18. Thank you, thank you. I know in my heart where my son is also. He died of a heroin overdose and at times that has caused doubt. Thank you for reminding me what His word tells us.

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    1. My son also died of an overdose. But my fear is that he had NOT made a profession of faith. He was still in the process of accepting his “higher power” and admitted he was unsure what he believed. 😞

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      1. That adds another layer to your concerns, Allyson. But like the thief on the cross, even a last-moment, last-breath confession covers us with God’s grace . I am so sorry that you have this extra burden. Praying the Father keeps your heart in His and that He gives you strength for each day.

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  19. Thank you dear Melanie, just what my heart needed tonight. I know where my son is but to reassure my mind sure helps. Thank you for your words and thank you dear Lord!

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